All I want for Christmas is a wax and stilettos ....

What??? It's totally normal!

My amazaboobs family "strong like bull"

No really all I can think about is "shit I need a wax". Some people prep for surgery by packing their bags, making meals and freezing them and getting the house in order. Truth is I threw some pjs into a bag with my make up bag cause I am so sure I will be up for applying foundation! My breastie Amy came by with stuffed peppers, lasagna, chili and a whole bunch of other goodies so why would I bother?? As far as the house goes, well shit it ain't gonna crumble. I know if Nikki is reading this she is so proud! The old me would have gone over board packing, cooking and cleaning, the new me ain't got time for that!! Yes all I can think about is shit I need a wax and I don't just mean ear brow. I got a hair cut last week, I have my priorities!! But am running outta steam and time doc appointment tomorrow got switched and it's messing with me. My very sweet girlfriend owns a salon and wants me to stop in, maybe I'll let her do my EYEBROWS! Doesn't everyone get a Brazilian before a DIEP??

Shoes, can we please talk shoes!! I have looked a little but haven't found the right ones. I mean they gave to not only have attitude, be fabulous and sparkly but go with a hospital gown. Do you have any idea how hard that is?? Wear something you have you're thinking, possible but come on it's a 10 hour surgery!! I deserve a pair of shoes that will keep our (by our I mean the posse that will show up with me) minds off the surgery and on to things that make you feel strong. What does that better than a 6 inch stiletto??? Plus it's a trademark we don't want to let the hospital staff down. Shoes make me feel strong and full of attitude, just what I need to go into surgery where I will be laying flat while my very capable doc and his lovely smart assistant does their magic! This is his "signature surgery" seriously it is. He is one of 40 doctors in the US that do these. I feel like I'm getting the Dolce & Gabbana of plastics I think amazaboobs shoes are a must!

A little partyyyyyy to say bye bye to the foobs!

Am I scared?? No I won't be doing anything but laying there and I know how to do that just fine. I have awesome doctors by my side not to mention I'm brining a tray of Italian cookies so they will be on their game. The recovery will suck but it's doable, the healing will take time but it's doable, I will slowly get a little of me back and that's do-fucking-able. This has to happen for me, for my mind and body. Cancer took so much from me I feel like I'm taking back just a little. Tom will post Wednesday when I go in and throughout the day, remember it's 10 hours and he will not be nearly as witty as me but the grammar will be impeccable! I wonder how fast my posse will annoy the waiting room staff, I wonder how much coffee MC and Tom will drink, I wonder how many times my dad will say "how do you think it's going in there", I wonder how many times GDeb will get everyone something anything to calm them, I wonder if my sister will breathe, I wonder if my brother will stay. The great thing is they all have to deal with each other without me answering, telling them what to do, what to
get or organizing lunch. Really if you think about it they are getting the break! All I know is someone better be shining my friggin tiara!!

Yup Dolce & Gabbana, do they come in a 6.5?!?

We are family, I got all my doll heads and me

We are family



I was going to write something to honor my sisters bday but my brain is so fried. I kept singing this song from when we were kids and I reread the lyrics. They really embody our family. I can see my sister and I dancing around the house belting this out not really giving it much thought. But now as I read then I think "oh hell yes!!"  Happy birthday to my disco Queen sister from her baby princess sister. I love you so much. Thanks for being your late, ding dong, salad making, disco ball, iPad, ever loving tricolor Italian cookie self!

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing

Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose

Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(WE!) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
This is our family Jewel

Foob job, take 2

Today I saw my breasties foobs and I must say they look amazaboobs. Like I am talking wow. She had the gummy bear ones put in and I was blown away at how real they look. The shape, the size and how they sit all look so real. She had a nipple grafted then tattooed areoles and now she looks well for lack of a better word normal. She feels great (well minus the hysterectomy, thanks BRCA 1 gene) because she is completely satisfied with how they look. I agree they do look fabulous. I never thought I would talk about another woman's breasts this much but hey I have to give props to her plastic surgeon, so happy we share the same doc.
I find myself jealous of my friends breasts. I know that is a typical chick issue, the old “I wish I had her boobs” but this is different. I have never been a jealous girl but lately I am feeling that way. I look at how Renee, Lisa, Nancy, Rebecca and so many others have healed so beautiful. I do not just mean the shape but the scars. The keloids I get are so pronounced and painful that when I see these smooth, soft breasts I get jealous. I got cancer big friggin deal so did 2.5 million other people but the scars that it left me with are what pisses me off. I know, I know a scar is showing I survived, that I am stronger than whatever tried to hurt me, no shit I quote those all the time but sometimes its hard to see past that when you have 2 ten inch scars across your foobs with 4 holes in the side that you can feel 24/7. My scars do not heal clean and smooth and pretty. They are raised, red and painful. There is a major difference.
I am jealous of them being satisfied too. I am so happy for them that their journey, story or whatever you want to call it has brought them to a place of comfort. I would like a little of that. I hate literally hate like I want to beat someone one senseless these foobs. Nobody ever tells you that part the emotional part of the fake boobs. they pump the perky shit like crazy but they cant prepare your mental state.When my breastie and I compared foobs (that is what we do at Warrior Wellness) between the scars and the shape of mine and the beauty and realness of hers I was smack in the face with boobs!!! It blew me away how mine look, it blew me away with sadness and anger. I want these fake foreign bricks gone far away before they shift into my back! That would give an whole new meaning to back fat. Remember this is my page to bitch!
As I prepare for the DIEP next week, December 11 I feel excited. Yes I said excited!!!! I want to get a little bit of me back, I feel like I am taking back what cancer took. I have talked to all my breasties and got all the horror stories, ALL of them. I have also got the “it sucks but its doable” and I am ready. I have also heard them tell me how great they feel, a little like themselves. I am armed with a recliner, abdominal binder, meal train, stool softener, drugs and a do not disturb sign (do you know my family???). I know the recovery will be difficult but I know this is what I need. It is not about how they look in my clothes, I see you all looking. I know they look fine there. It is how they look and feel to me, its my body. I am beyond uncomfortable, I am aware of the fake boobs all the time, I am not happy, Do I have to do this surgery?? That is a dumb ass question so do not ask it. I will however answer it…YES. for my body, my mind and my health. I have the best surgical team and they are prepared for a 10 hour surgery. I told them to please feel free to take a break and have a snack.
I am going show shopping this week for a badass, killer pair of stilettos. I am giving this surgery all the attitude I can gather. Which at this point isn't a lot so I need the shoes, much like Wonder Woman needs her bracelets, ohhhhh bracelets.  I am taking my body BACK, but still a princess.  My tiara will be on my nightstand ready for me when I get home from the hospital, do not even think about touching it. Just for the record she does rock a tiara and killer shoes!!!
 

I see a serious resemblence

WARRIOR WELLNESS

WARRIOR WELLNESS

Strong body. Peaceful Mind

 9:30
1st and 3rd Sunday of the month

Community Center Group Fitness Studio

311B Town Drive Fayetteville, NY 13066

 

Sponsored by:

 

                The Warrior Wellness program uses exercise and the unlimited power of shared experiences to build and reinforce the strength of your body, mind and spirit as you undergo or recover from breast cancer treatment.

                Exercise plans are tailored to each participant's body and needs.  Your individualized plan will prepare your body for the journey, maintain your strength through treatment and recovery and help you emerge stronger than you believed possible.

                Each workout session is followed by thirty minutes of tea, conversation and camaraderie. Program leaders MC Davidson and Ann Marie Otis along with all the warriors will help you release your own inner warrior and show you that this is not a lonesome battle.  You have back up.  This alone will empower you!

                Come join us and together the Warrior Wellness program will empower your battle against breast cancer.

 

The Details:

• Classes meet Sunday from 9:30-10:30 composed of 30 minutes of exercise followed by 30 minutes of tea and lively conversation
• Classes meet at:  Community Center Group Fitness Studio 311B Towne Drive Fayetteville Town Center Fayetteville, NY 13066
• Cost: $10 per class or a $50 punch card for 11 classes

Meet the founders of Warrior Wellness:

M.C. Davidson has a PhD. in Immunology and is certified by ISSA (International Sports Science Association) as a Fitness Trainer and nutrition counselor.

MC will guide you through exercise programs designed to strengthen the muscles involved in shaping your chest, back and arms.  She will focus on building and rebuilding your strength-to prepare for upcoming procedures, help you recover after surgery or sustain your stamina as you undergo treatments.  She will teach controlled movement and educate on ways to maintain your strength through exercise and nutrition.

Ann Marie Giannino-Otis is a breast cancer survivor who understands the treatment process from diagnosis through surgery and beyond.  She is the found of Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer, a growing movement to build awareness and provide practical support and advocacy for breast cancer patients and survivors.

 

Ann Marie will help with your fitness work and take a leading role in post-workout conversations, where participants will have a unique opportunity to sit and listen, talk about their fears, share information and laugh together, a lot.

For more information please contact me!

What is Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer?

      Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer is Ann Marie Giannino-Otis'

fierce and unconventional initiative to promote awareness,

early detection and advocacy with a special focus on younger

women who may believe (erroneously) that breast cancer is

strictly an older woman's disease.  Since its inception in Fall

2012, Ann Marie has beeen featured in magazine and news

stories, made TV appearances and radio interviews. She has

hosted a variety of Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer events

including the My Journey Through the Lumps photo essay at

Fayeteville-based Pascale's Restaurant in October, Stacks for

Racks at Trapper's II in Minoa in November and This is my

Journey, a slide show and presentation at the Fayetteville Free

Library in December.

 

Rosie Posie

We love you Rosie 

Oh yes we do

We love you Rosie

It's true

We love your smile 

and drunk eye too

Oh Rosie I love you! 

Sung to the jingle of "Healthy, Normal, American Boy" from the Bye Bye birdie musical. Please don't judge! 

I would be lost without you, like in a scary dark place.  You understand when I'm sad and can't explain why. You get that sometimes depression hits at the happiest of moments, those are the times you dry my tears. You know when to tell me some story that gets my mind off what I'm thinking yet makes no sense. You knew that our tattoos hope, love, and live would be just what we needed to start our battle against stupid dumb breast cancer. You knew that our family is strong in our numbers and it's forever. You always know when to hug me and when to let go, which is never. You are there for the boys and for Tom like an auntie should be. You are my Rosie and I love you. 

Happiest of birthdays to my Rosie who always knows how to make my tiara shine! 

Xo

Yes Ann Marie there is a Santa

I know that people get all pissed off when Target puts their Holliday stuff out after the back to school is done but I don't mind it. The holidays no matter what you celebrate make me happy. I love that my Jewish friends light the menorah in celebration of Hanukah. I love that my Christian friends get ready for the birth of baby Jesus. It's a joyous time of the year so stop bitching and try actually enjoying them. Not just the gifts and the food but the feeling of the holidays. Dig deep it's there. There is a magic in the season I just know it!


When I was about 7 there was a massive storm in upstate NY, I know shocking. We were up at my Uncle Mike and Aunt Carm's on Christmas Eve and the storm hit bad. They lived about 20 minutes from my house and about 20 minutes from my other cousins so no one was going anywhere. We hadn't planned on a big ole sleep over but we went with it. All my cousins were there, we were stuffed from eating but were having a great time so who cares that we were stranded just meant more time screaming at each other in the loving Italian way we do.  Now keep in mind I'm not only the family princess but I'm the baby my cousins are all 10 years older. They didn't care if they got their gifts Christmas morning or a day later but what about Santa??? I was right at the age when my friends were all "there ain't no Santa" crap. And I wondered if it was true! I went to sleep at my Aunties all
snuggled in a bed (princesses get beds all the rest took the floor) and thought "if I have gifts in the morning there is a santa!". I didn't tell anyone what I thought I just dreamt of Christmas morning with my cousins and of My Friend Mandy doll.


I woke up very early and the snow was friggin crazy, it went up to the door and I wondered how we would ever get out. Thank god being the good Italians we had plenty of food! Ok back to the morning. I shoved my sister and told her to wake up she looked at me like I was nuts for what, PRESENTS ugh she was dense. But then I thought she's right If Santa was real there'd be gifts cause he would know where I was, if she doesn't care there's no such thing and my gifts are at 332 Orwood Place. I remember how bad I wanted that doll and how sad I was. I woke everyone up and we went downstairs to wake the smelly older boys, my brother included.

Holy Jesus and Happy Shamus!!! There were frigging gifts under that tree, a lot. My name was on some "AMIE", holy holy holy he is real. Santa is real. I opened the presents with everyone, there was paper everywhere, yelling and a fried something smelling so good. Then I opened it.... There she was Mandy! Yes Ann Marie there is a Santa! I called Tracy cause ya always call your BFF. Best Christmas ever, ever. I went back to school and told my stupid friends they were wrong Santa is real
and he hooked me up. They agreed Santa was totally awesome and real.

When I think of that Christmas I try so hard to think about how my family was reacting to me. I'm crying as I'm typing cause I see Linda nudging Maria. I see Lori smiling and brushing my hair. I can see my brother laughing with Tommy, Chucky and Dave I thought they were making fun of me. I see my Grandma rubbing my dads shoulders and my Uncle Chuck and Uncle Mike nodding their heads. My aunt Madeline's cooking with Aunt Carma nod their whispering and smiling. I see me playing with my Mandy completely oblivious to them but feeling so filled with love, magic and joy, the energy from them.

 I tell my kids this story and about how I felt and how awesome it was when they give me the Santa crap because that was all real and Santa is real. I stop the story there though to them. But my daddy and my 2 uncles got in their car and drove 2 hours to Lyncourt then 2 hours back to get the gifts. They are the real Santas but the magic of what they did is what the holidays are about. My mother had been gone for 6 years but between the trial and the aftermath I'm sure the hurt was still raw. They just as much as me need the magic of Christmas. They need the warmth, laughter, love and joy. Isn't that what the holidays are about? Giving others and the feeling it gives you! Isn't it about love and life no matter how difficult your life is.

Maybe this story is exaggerated, maybe it only took an hour but I don't care the magic is there. I have some major tests coming up and a very intense surgery and I keep thinking of this time in my life, when my family needed happiness and joy and how they did just that by making the princess happy. And I am forever grateful, forever. As I shine my tiara for my MRI next week and look for new stilettos for the DIEP (need me some Jimmy Choo's) I will keep this memory in my heart. I know this is the season for magic, joy, and hope and I know that my family will be there to fill my house and life with just that!

I'm sorry did I order a mastectomy?

I'm in a mood so I hope you can stay with me. There are so many stages of cancer, degrees, different types, and treatments all that making everyone's journey different than the last. Now add the personality of the person in and BAM different again. Doesn't make it the right or wrong way, just makes it their way.  When I was told I had cancer and my options were a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy I choose the mastectomy, my choice! I don't ask for a mastectomy cause I was bored, I had friggin cancer. Does that make my cancer less, no it makes it different. Can I relate to every cancer badass out there, no I can not but I sure as hell can try to find someone who can. Shit I don't even like everyone cancer or not some people are just mean.

The reason I am saying this is because there is sometimes this fucked up competition  with cancer. WHAT?! Yup you heard me right, people actually compete, compare and judge someone by their cancer. I want to say its the cancer doing it not them but shit I think it's the person really. You can't judge someone's journey unless you walk in it. You can't compare how they are dealing by how you did you are different people. Not to mention how does any of it effect you? It doesn't effect you at all. It effects them and they are doing the best they can just like you.


Some people thought I was nuts because I wore stilettos into my surgery, while I am nuts but I had my reasons. Don't worry I'm gonna tell them to you. First, I love shoes! Second, my sweet BFF's daughter bought the for me to make me happy and they did so I wanted something happy the day of surgery. Third, it gave everyone something to talk about besides what was about to happen, mastectomy from cancer unless you forgot. Last, those shoes made me feel strong, empowered, and brave. I needed to feel those things for me cause I was scared as hell. You can't judge my shoes unless you walk in them, they are 6 inch heels go ahead and try!


People actually judged Deborah from shaking her thang before surgery, why?? What does anyone care if that helped her get through like my shoes helped me? What if that video helped someone down in the dumps, what if that lifted their spirits?  My friend Tessa cried, as she puts it "like a big
ass fool" as the wheeled her away because that's what she needed to do. What if her crying showed someone they were not alone? Why do we look to the negative so fast instead of embracing the positivity in these situations? After the surgeries and treatments (if you have treatments which some people do not but which are so different) you do whatever you need to get by. I choose blogging and reaching out, seems to work for me. I met an amazing warrior today at my support group that was like "I do what I do and get by. When it's done it's done I will move on". She is awesomely awesome and her positive energy is infectious and I want her to come back. My breastie Kim walked in crying this week, last week it was Rebecca both for different reasons but they needed that. Guess what, they ware just was awesomely awesome as the next one because they are doing what they need to get by!

Cancer is a stupid dumb ass that messes with you on so many levels, yes I know I've said that before but for some reason no one is listening to me. It's stupid because it can sometimes bring out the worse in people when they are going through enough as it is. Respect for those battling their own battle is so vital not just cancer battle but life! You don't know what someone's life it like when they shut that door, so why would you judge how they handle their life. I may seem like I'm Miss Positivity but crap I'm in physical pain from cancer, emotional pain from cancer but am choosing to smile to show cancer I'm stronger than it. You can't judge me unless you have held my hand, wiped my tears, laughed your ass off when I trip or shinned my tiara.

I didn't choose a mastectomy because it was in InStyle magazine and trendy, I choose it because I had cancer. So I will deal with it like I know how, in stilettos and a tiara because I'm me regardless of cancer.

You read the blog, now get the shirt!

 

 



ALL money from the shirts goes to http://www.cancerconnects.org/ and Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer BRAVERY BAGS!! Thanks so much for helping those battling cancer right now. Remember to post a picture of you rocking the shirt! Thanks to Ward Sales for always getting the shirts done fast. Add $4 to ship. It is easy just click the link!!  https://www.etsy.com/shop/StupiddumbBC?ref=pr_shop_more

Michelle DaRin auction Badass piece

 

 

 

 

Inspired by the Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer movement, custom jewelry artist Michelle DaRin has combined imagery, words, color, and texture to create a funky and fabulous that is also a handcrafted work of art. Its message – Badass. –  captures the strength and power of the women who fight the disease and the people fiercely dedicated to finding a cure. Michelle's website speaks volumes for her artistry. http://www.michelledarinjewelry.com/


Through the auction of this unique piece, I am continuing my high-profile effort to promote awareness and raise funds for the battle against breast cancer. Proceeds will be donated to the Upstate Medical University’s Cancer Center construction project in Syracuse, New York.

 

 If you would like to bid please email me, your name will remain silent but I will update the price (please bid in $5 increments).  I am so Proud that Michelle has made this piece inspired by my mission. Bidding will continue until  January 2nd at midnight and the high bidder will be announced!

Jules happiest of days

Right before this amazing OPPS baby (you know what I mean the opps I didn’t have my husband fix the plumbing!!) was born my grandmother died, I mean like days before. I held him in so we could bury a grandmother that was more like a mother to us. After the services were over my OB insisted I come in, “How the hell this baby is still in you is beyond me!! GO STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL, do not stop for French fries (I did this with Sam and he knew me all to well).” SO we went there a few hours later this adorable Jules was born. He was truly a gift from Nana something to turn our sadness to joy and make our family see that life continues.


Julian was so cute and extremely cuddly, still is we often wonder if Dr. Rick forgot to cut the cord! Thank the gods he is because the kid has a temper like no other and cried like no child before him and never slept, I mean EVER and ate like a pig. I have no idea who this kid takes after, hahaha. But he fit in perfectly. I am not sure if the other boys just wanted to shut him up or if they actually were helping calm the crier either way he still gets his way to this day.



What this little monkey butt did for sure was give Anthony his best friend. Julian leans on Anthony and Anthony holds him up. They talk, share secrets and bitch about how the older boys are jerks. Just what a brother needs a buddy.





He is a ninja and will do a cartwheel to get to his Ninjago legos faster than you 
can say “DUDE!!!!” He is my most violent child so do not touch his TMNT or anything else he has claimed, he will take you down! Do not dare him because he will accept the challenge and take your money no problems. Again I have no idea where he comes from.


Julian will forever be my baby and not just because he is the last kid but because he is completely attached to me.Julian can walk in heels higher than me and with such swag. He understands how important it is to sparkle and that glitter is a color. He will snuggle with me all day if I didn’t have to pee or he had to go to school. And one thing is for sure he not only knows his momma is a princess, he shines my tiara!!






Happy Birthday to my Glittery ninja!!