I really did try to sleep. I started at 10pmish and here it is almost 2 and I have had no luck. You would think the amount of drugs I have in me would knock a horse out apparently I haven't gained that much weight. Needless to say this will be a post that has misspelling, bad grammar and randomness so I hope you can follow, shit I hope I can follow.
Thursday they went in and took those parts out that helped me grow my 4 little monkey butts into these crazy as world. I went into that surgery with all sorts if advice-it's no big deal, easier than a mastectomy, horrible, you will feel like hell, I was back at the gym in a week, etc. I had no idea what to expect. As you can see from the previous post it kicked my ass. The doctors say that is normal considering I have had 5 surgeries in 6 months, my body is spent. I am sore all over for sure and honestly my vagina feels much like a back alley crack whore (not that I would know). I am just waiting and not eagerly for menopause symptoms to start.
Needless to say my mind is back on override. Preparing for the surgery was very tiring this go around. The kids were scared because they knew there is no guarantees of cancer free (things look good but until that pathology comes back....). Tom was nervous but tried so hard to just act calm, 20 years together told a different story. The family and friends were ready with meals, support, tea and new sparkly shoes. Attack mode!
With all this I completely forget about the oncology appointment that was to follow the surgery. This appointment was made August 21st when I first went to the oncologist for stupid dumb breast cancer. It's my 6 month follow up! Really already?? The reality is that if I had not been so busy planning, pre testing and getting my girly parts roto rootered (Google that) I would have been over thinking this appointment. Praise the hysterectomy! I am so happy that these last few nights I stayed up watching Teen Mom, Mob Wives, and other embarrassing shows instead of worrying about the "what if" of this visit.
My life has changed so dramatically in 6 months it blows my mind. Life can change so fast and take you on a journey that you never dreamed of. It can bring you happiness you never thought you deserved. Heart ache you never thought possible. Friendships you can never live without. Scars that will last to remind you of the bumps you overcome. A purpose you didn't know you were looking for.
Some say "it's the easy cancer", "not real cancer", "just an abnormal cell" but to me cancer and is cancer. My journey these past 6 months taught me that cancer does not have a set face or rules, it is it's one entity. Cancer takes each individual on its own journey,down whichever road it sees fit. How you travel down that road is up to you. so for me, it doesn't matter if my oncologist tells me I'm cancer free or we need more tests, I know how I will travel. That road may not be paved, as a matter of fact it's probably all gravel with big ass potholes, but I know I can dance, walk, run, skip if I want to down that road. Done of course in my sparkly 6 inch stilettos knowing just who will be there for me to hold on to if I need!
Never let them dull your sparkle
This is going to be super brief but I feel bad that my friends who are not on FB or IG haven't heard from me. Please excuse any sentences that make no sense. The delivery of Rosemary’s baby went all according to plan. The hospital staff was so excited to see me. They thought it would be best if they didn't put anyone in the bed next to me, for their saftey. You got to watch those nurses they kept trying to steal my shoes. I played good girl from the most part! I wore my sparkliest shoes (thanks sissy) because, shit, they took a lot out. Not that it weighed much, robbed again!! I am having an allergic reaction to something and my face and eyes are currently swollen. I guess birthing the demons takes a lot out of a girl. I will blog more soon. But for now I am resting, watching Teen Mom and Honey Boo Boo. Anyone that knows me knows this is a HUGE challenge to stay in bed.
In the words of a nurse “they took your box not your playpen”, love that my nurses really get me…… It took me about 30 minutes to write just that.
They only let me stand up in them and honestly that is all I could do.
The damn demon
Hello again-
All went well. AM is in her room recovering. The shoes are off...but only for a little while. She'll be home early tomorrow (if she rests a little). Thanks for all your support. I'm sure she'll post here or on FB later today.
Tom
 |
| One of my favorite pic, my grandmother could DANCE!! |
Even before stupid dumb breast cancer reared its ugly head I have been a cystic girl. I have had a little dusting and cleaning done every other year just about (I think the technical term is D & C but mine is funnier). I have had 3 miscarriages and 4 babies, a tubal ligation, ablation and a scope every now and then, needless to say my girl parts have been worked over. So when I was still getting the periods after the ablation my sweet doc decided to have a look, like he hasn’t been there before! Low and be hold there are some more cysts growing like wild fire. If you saw my file at this office you would laugh, the girls can’t even fit it in the holder they have to set it on the counter. I think one uses a forklift to get it out, So these cysts (Rosemary’s baby we call them, if you have no clue what I am talking about please Google) are giving me pelvic pain, pressure, lower back pain and cramps like the devil’s child. Considering my history it is ALL coming out. My cervix, uterus, tubes, ovary…out and good riddance! I really thought this would be about 5 pounds worth of weight but it looks like its only ounces, wtf I get robbed again! Once the pathology reports come back we will know what the next steps are. Taking this one step at a time and trying not to leap forward.
Here is the truth, I am scared like a crazy lady. The uncertainty of all this makes me nuts. Plus, add the fact that they thought I just had papilloma and then told me it was stupid dumb breast cancer makes my nerves even worse. I did not realize that the surgery was 3-4 hours, well I guess when they roto rooter your vagina they need to keep you under for awhile. I have been told that my begging will not work to go home. Looks like I am sleeping over, my sister offered to stay with me but really could the hospital deal with the both of us??? Unfortunately for me this doctor and staff know me oh too well so I know I can not beg my way to going home. I need my rest they say, yeah cause getting my vitals checked every half hour is so restful. As my brother says “Don’t be difficult, try to be someone else” so I guess I will listen. The surgery itself is at the same place I had my mastectomy, I am hoping for the same attendant!! I guess I need new PJ’s, MC will you help me find some. LOL I can not find PJ’s I like, partly because I am so friggin short and the other cause I don’t normally wear them!
don’t even get me going over the menopause shit. I will be in full on menopause, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, my poor family. If anyone has any suggestions I will take them because I can not have hormone, breast cancer LOVES estrogen. I am wiggin out about this, I am a spaz as it is I can not image adding to this!
Overwhelming oh hell yes! So glad I got the easy cancer, huh? I am hoping for everything to be ok but the world is a crazy whacky place so you know what they say “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst”.
I went and got my eyebrows done, shoes shined
, pedi next week, hair next week, then its show time! I have the BEST shoes for this one, these are glittered out, I mean come one they are taking a LOT out. Last time I was so concerned with what underwear to wear, well this time I do not need any. If you have read my blog you know I am very inappropriate under anesthesia, can you image what will come out as they place my legs in stir ups!? Last time I had surgery with this doc I told the nurse to make sure he didn’t slip a ruffie, thanks god they had a sense of humor. Don’t worry I waxed too (Brazilian that is lmao).
