Micheal Phleps looks like ME

cup·ping

ˈkəpiNG/

noun

noun: cupping

1. (in Chinese medicine) a therapy in which heated glass cups are applied to the skin along the meridians of the body, creating suction as a way of stimulating the flow of energy.

It is not a new therapy actually it is over 3,000 years old but Michael PHELPS - Olympic | United States of America does it and people go crazy! Fact I have been doing cupping for about 4 years now. When I was doing it years ago a woman handed me a card for spousal abuse telling me I was not alone and there was help for me. I was yelling to her “No No it is a treatment”. I do not think she understood what I meant though.

I went to a massage therapist years ago who tried to work my back for the aches of surgery and my arm from Lymphedema  and Axillary Web Syndrome (Cording) . Patrick Fuller took one look and calming told me I was a mess, which I already knew. He suggested cupping, I had seen many friends getting this so I figured -why not, it won’t hurt (or will it). My back as destroyed from surgeries and having my breast removed, one arm has cording the other lymphedema so I just wanted relief. Yes, I wear my sleeve but this is life long and needs maintaining.  The cupping I do is when they light the glass jars and stick them on, he leaves them there for about 15 minutes. I sleep while they are on. They can apply them and pump them on although I do not like that style as much, I think most athletes do this type. 

Photo credit www.themollyproject.org

Cupping gets the blood flowing and lymph system moving which can only help in lymphedma right? When you have cording the pain from the twisted “cord” is so intense you want relief but relief is popping that cord OUCH. What cupping does is loosen the webbing so the massage therapist can work it out with ease. From medication and surgeries your body harbors so much toxins, cupping releases them from your body. Now add MS to my mixed bag. Cupping decreases my pain, helps with digestive issues, increase blood flow and circulation (ummmm so important), and detoxification. It WORKS! After a session I want to schedule another so I can still feel pretty good. The trick is keeping up with it. This for me is like taking my medication I have to stay on top of it.

My family was not a believer so my 16 year old son needed his back worked from running he had a horrible knot. Patrick was working on him when he felt it, he told Ben he could scrap the knot out which was going to be painful and take a long time to release or he could get cupped. Ben choose cupping and he loved it. The pressure is relaxing and soothing. There is no pain involved and when he was done Ben felt amazing, He made a comment that he felt like he was standing taller and he was! See the cupping broke the knot up and relaxed his muscles so when he stood he was not hunching in pain. Ben was sold!

Now I know everyone is reading about the swimmers and gymnasts and other athletes doing this so they want to try it. You should for sure but my advice is to make sure the person you choose is certified and experienced. This is not for an a newbie to try. ASK YOUR DOCTOR! Please make sure you clear it with them. You will love it but make sure you are doing it right.

I do thank the athletes for drawing attention however if one more person asks me if I am doing “that Michael Phelps” thing I may scream! Next they will all start wearing tiaras…...

FYI the big spot under my tattoo is when my cording starts. When I left I could place my arm down without any pain!

Wisdo

Wisdo-Throughout life people overcome challenges such as becoming a parent, building a home, being diagnosed with an illness, divorce, relocation, parenthood by adoption, retirement and hundreds more. These life challenges often leave people lost, seeking wisdom and support.

Wisdo helps communities to overcome these challenges by creating step by step maps with corresponding wisdom, contributed by community guides under the calling, of “being the guide they wish they’d had.

Technically that is the blurb which sums it up really great. But you all know how I roll right? That is way too tied together for me. I want you all to understand Wisdo from my end. Why when the job as community manager was offered to me I said “YES PLEASE”. When I had my first chat with the founders a sentence jumped out at me that they said to me. Wisdo was the insight I did not know I needed when I needed it. That was clear to me 100%. I was sick of being lost on pages I wanted direction. I can remember when I was first DX and searching all over finding info, reading it on breast cancer that was not even mine. I was completely overwhelmed by this. I just wanted people who have been there to help me and guide me through this shit show.

Wisdo is taking our insight-you and me and placing it on a timeline so when myself or anyone needs the info they get it at that moment not before when they can not process it. Sounds brilliant because it is! When you are dealing being told you have cancer the last thing you need to be reading about is chemo cocktails. You need someone to guide you how to tell your family, friends and even your job. You need to listen and read about how others did it so you can apply that to your life. That is how Wisdo works. You plot your timeline and gather the info you need, then when chemo arrives IF it arrives you get that info at that time. FREAKING amazing.

The trick is gathering all the insight we can from all the people who have been there. Maybe after your DX, treatment or what ever you realize you could have done “x” to make it easier. You know that telling someone else this will help them BEFORE they start. So all you have to do is add an “insight” your wisdom. Wisdo and Insight you do that here on the Beta page in the corner. Go do it, you know you are a badass with so much to offer.

So now you are thinking that is great but I do not have breast cancer. I feel ya I have a lot of life struggles myself I would love to have plotted. Well guess freaking what!? Wisdo has over hundreds of life struggles that we will be launching. MS, divorce going off to college, addiction, HIV/AIDS, adoption, ovarian cancer, lung cancer and many more! I mean what site is doing that? NONE!

The Wisdo team and myself have been going around to make videos of these insights so you can see, hear and read about well life. Check my fanfreakingtastic friend Britteny out and what Sarah Snow has done to the video. This is just the start of many more!

As you see me around the USA making magic this is why! Got something you think we should cover you know I love sharing, message me. Make sure you log into the landing page and you can be updated when we launch. If you have a Facebook you must have a Wisdo. I must say that I can still wear my tiara with Wisdo but my sarcasm and wacky humor may be harder for them to adjust to. Come on who doesn’t love crazy awkward elevator conversations?

HealthEVoices 2016

I am a voice. Wait when did that happen? It still boggles my mind that people read this blog let alone share it wanting sit and chat about it. CRAZY! But this weekend I will travel to Chicago for the HealthEVoices conference and I am pumped up. The first and foremost reasons are these two- Claudia from   My Left Breast and Jen for Booby and the Beast . I have been following both and "talking" basically since my dx so to be able to hug them is epic. No really, the breast cancer community is tight and these woman are like family to me so this is such an opportunity. To learn from them is going to be amazaballs (how does a blogger who talks like this possibly gets into this conference?).

I do ask myself that, why me? I am not only thrilled to be with Jen and Claudia but I am going to listen to  Trevis Gleason  talk. He is an MS advocate, chef and blogger badass. Plus having MS so I am going to no doubt have an incredible connection to him. I can not wait to hear about what he has to offer. The conference has lined up  Tim Cigelske a social media guru what he will offer me for my blog, Wisdo and Lyfebulb I am jumping out of my seat!

Add a little Yoga, keynote speakers and we have a bang out weekend! Janssen is who we are thanking for sending us on this weekend like no other. Putting us all together, with all different illness is pure brilliance. Think about what can be accomplished medically when those with different health issues get together and discuss what is working and not. In addition to working and brainstorming how to build blogs that will not only reach our communities but reach the masses. WOW! WOW! Yes I use caps and exclamation points, it is how I roll.  

So my bag is packed, my ticket is on my phone, agenda is planned, tiara shined and I am ready to meet, shmooze and make friends with this amazing cast of blogger. #Healthevoices2016 here we come!

Cancer is offensive

If you find offense in this how can I possibly accept myself

I could start with I am sorry you are offended but fuck that! Sorry NOT sorry as the youth of today says. I had a picture flagged and removed from Facebook that should not have, it is within the guidelines. But someone found it offensive calling it nudity. It was a reconstructed breast which is FAKE with a prosthetic nipple FAKE again. I try to figure out who would report it and my first thought is someone who has never had cancer or any illness effect them so deeply. So let's start there shall we?

You know what is offensive? Being told you have a choice of having your breast amputated or a lumpectomy that may "deform your breast" that is exactly the words I heard. You have to choose one and which ever you do will change your body and mind for life and you have no choice but to pick one. No one explains how destroyed you will be over this in the end you just have to do it. Offended?? Having plastic tubes come out of you to release fluid from your body that is offensive, humiliating and inhuman. Naked at every appointment having every doctor and nurse look and feel your once private breasts, that is what nudity is now! The fact every woman I talk to spends at some point time crying in the shower because of how cancer destroyed their body as imperfect as it was, is totally offensive. 

I am the one that should be offended

I am offended that my "boob job" did not work and I had to have a 10 hour surgery to get some sort of breasts. Now I know now I did not have to have reconstruction but at the time I thought I would "offend" people without breasts and I did not have the courage to go flat. But that is a different blog post. I am offended that because I did not see these options on other woman I had no idea what  I could do. I am extremely offended that I had to have my nipples removed which I never knew would make me feel so blank. That my body is covered ins scars that remind me daily I had CANCER.

Offended that I am a rag doll now sewn together

Offensive is having your body radiated to make scars, cancer, pain all dissipate just a little but never terminate it completely. I am so offended that I lay naked on a table while a machine burns my skin, I lay there alone because it is too dangerous for others to be there with me. As they close the metal door I am scared and naked in all senses of the word.  Or the people that lose their hair because of chemo as they on the bathroom floor vomiting from the drugs being pumped in them. That is offensive!

Two days after surgery and radiation, this is offensive to me!

Cancer offends us every time we have a scan and we wait anxiously for results that will change our life. I am offended because I know that the answer could mean death which scares me to my core or paranoia which makes me mildly embarrassed.  Cancer is offending me and my friends every time someone is DX metastatic or dies. Why isn't this the most offensive? I am extremely offended that society does not seem to want to acknowledge this and would rather paint a pink world for us to look at where everyone survives and gets a boob job. I am offended that they took my color pink and made it about cancer, a color is not a disease. 

Cancer killed this beautiful friend, that is where people should be offended. 

I am so offended that people do not take the the time to understand that mastectomy pictures, nipple tattoo, nipple prosthetic on a fake breast are healing. When we see the image we see our self then we realize we are not alone.  In that image we are all the same. We see that we can get to the next step that the surgical glue goes away and somewhere in there we are still us, a new creation yet the same. Looking at these takes the scary out just a little helping us prepare for what we need to do next. 

I am saddened and offended that I now have fake nipple and breasts both with no feeling

If you had cancer and these offend you than couldn't you just move on? Just like we all handle cancer treatment different we need to respect how we heal from it. Maybe you are offended about the doctor dancing through her mastectomy did it occur to you to find out why she needed that? That person sobbing every day does she offend you? It is how she is healing because her personal life is a mess on top of cancer. That girl that wore 6 inch stilettos through her surgeries and treatments-that gave her the courage to stand tall during it and not let her family see her fall. And those images that you find offensive and consider them nudity.......they are helping people survive an incredibly debilitating disease. By calling them offensive you are saying that they are and only hurting them more. Was that your mission?  If we do not accept these images how can we accept ourselves and move pass what is happening to our bodies?

I really thought we were pass this but apparently not. My 15 year old son does not like when I post the images because well he is 15 and is worried that someone may hurt my feelings. But he respects them and knows they help a lot of people. My 13 year old is proud that we all have the courage to post them because he sees strength. Neither see sex or nudity or are offended. I leave you with this if two  teenage boys can respect and see the truth in them why can't others? 

Laughing is not offensive but sitting there with tubes, amputated breasts and the fear they did not get all the cancer is by far offensive

Cancer and Nutrition a Lyfebulb Social Event

When I was diagnosed with cancer it was doctor appointments out my ears. The oncologist, the breast care and the plastic surgeon. No one ever mentioned my lifestyle and how I ate or exercised. Maybe my fabulous before cancer body told them I knew this already. BLAHAHAAH we know that is not true. Cancer brings stress and if you deny this then maybe you are a robot. Some people when they are stressed over eat some under eat either way it is not healthy. Some can work out to relieve the tension some can not even get out of bed. Clearly we need some help here. Yes my cancer center has a nutritionist but no one made that appointment for me, seems to me it should just happen with any serious or chronic illness right? I have always believed that food fuels us from both the health aspect and the emotional. This is the time we need both. 

 LyfeBulb hosted a Social Event to bring cancer and nutrition together, yes you read that right. Now let me first say that I in no way shape or form do I  think eating healthy and exercising will cure shit. BUT it will help your body with the fuel it needs to get through treatment, surgery, stress and all the scans.Exercise in any form is good for your mind as well as your fabulous body. I will also say that eating a bag of skittles is bad for you but can be done every now and then if you are eating right, right? The event was at Le Colonial where the food was delicious and healthy and cocktails were yum! They event started with Susan from Savor Health so let's being there.

The idea behind Savor is that while you are undergoing treatment you can use food to nourish your body and mind. There was no talk about curing cancer but using your body with food to help how you feel during this time.  What a great concept?! It matches your cancer with what your body needs and creates meal plans. Again great but here is my but. Why isn't every center using this? I feel like all the hospitals should be offering us this and our insurance should cover the cost. If we feel better from eating healthy our recovery and healing will be greater. This should be offered at all centers and pushed on every patient. Those with metastatic disease can get through chemo better because their body is prepared. Seems like a no brainer to me. Just my 2 cents here.

Next came Professor Robert Thomas who is an oncologist believing in health integrated with chemo. YUP I said that right. He was not telling us that eating broccoli soup was better than chemo he was saying that with chemo and eating what works against your cancer can shrink tumors. Maybe it was bullshit but when he showed the scans it was real. Ok so may the chemo is what did it BUT I think that because your body was feeling good than you were able to take chemo better. Cancernet uk gives you the info you need to see for yourself. When the Professor first got up I was thinking he was going to be stiff and just spew facts and data, it was the opposite. Relaxed, witty and just easy to understand. He did not throw medical terms that we did not understand but things we did and how it helps us. The other thing that the professor was saying is that it is ok to eat that NYC hot dog when you are eating healthy because it will balance it off. Do you see the benefits from listening to him? My posse kept him, his friend Andy and another friend Stefano from Helsinn at the restaurant until they basically threw us out. The professor really listened to our concerns and our life and wanted to us to see how his research is making a difference. We were sold-we also choked him with his tie (I think there maybe pictures). 

Helsinn pharmaceuticals scary right cause it is big pharma and we all know there are blogs on this. You are 100% wrong!!! Helsinn is listening to the research that Dr. Robert Thomas is doing and making products to enhance our health. They are an integrated  company that is using both alternative health with their medications. I have always believed this is how we are going to health faster and make ourselves more comfortable.

You all know I do not sugar coat shit I am not Willy Wonka. This was such an invigorating event seeing not only where health care can go, but from passionate doctors and companies that are trying to make this happen. What if you go to chemo and they do blood work and see what you what are lacking in vitamins and minerals then they give you a meal plan based on your bodies needs. What if then you eat that food and balance yourself? What will the outcome be? I  just want all the best for us, for us to have everything we need to get through this the best we can. I urge you to check into this cause hey you never know and what could it hurt?

It's a Cancer Thing You Wouldn't Understand

I pulled a hangnail last week my finger and hand swelled. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I cried when my online friends Jill and Carollynn died and there was nothing I could do. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I hate looking at myself in the mirror between the scars and chest I do not recognise me I can not look.  It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

My body has changed so much I hardly can wrap my head around this rapid change nor do I want to. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I have scans and blood work coming up and it makes me crazy with worry. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I do not sleep at all even with medication. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I am pissed off that everyday about 128 die from metastatic disease and the world just sits and watches. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I can not fly or exercise without wearing a sleeve otherwise my arm swells. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

Sex?? BLAHAHAHAAHAH what was that again? It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

My veins are shot getting blood drawn is painful. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

Lymphedema in one arm cording in another. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

My family worries about me so much I am sick of hurting them this way. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I feel guilty I am alive. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I forget what I was going to say. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I am sick of hearing "because of your history we have to rule out cancer". It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

My boys have  cancer on their medical history and it makes me sick. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I have more doctors than I ever thought possible. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

PSTD is real and I have it! It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I have pain yet numbness in all my surgery sites daily yet you can not see my pain. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I am scared of what radiation, scans and injections have done to my body. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

I feel like I am 90. It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand.

Maybe you are reading this and you do understand because you had cancer. I am sure you can add many more to my little list. But if you are reading this with no cancer in your life first great I am so happy for you. Second, wake the fuck up! Cancer is not tied in a neat package, cancer does not end, cancer can kill. This is not about whether you can handle the truth or that you do not know how to deal with all this. It is about you understanding that this does not end with a simple surgery or with chemo or radiation. Surviving is an overrated term, we are living through this DX. Some are dying with it. It is time to bring these topics to the front page and stop hiding behind ads of cancer prevention bull shit. We are preventing shit we need to make ourselves strong machines so that we can attack our DX the best way possible.

Understand just because you have "moved on" from cancer the person dealing with it has not. Respect them for their sometimes unseen pain.  This is not a boob job do not make this sexy because sexy is not relevant. Respect the fear of recurrence do not tell us it can not come back, we know different. Honor our friends who have died do not tell us they lost their battle, they did not lose anything. Know that we are scared and have every right to be, stop telling us it will be ok. I know this is hard for some but say nothing just a hug. Keep your hands off my tiara I will smack you. Do something bigger than baked ziti. Rides, babysitting, laugh with me or donate to research not walks. We can make a change if we just put our voices together to be louder and stronger for all to hear. 

It's a cancer thing you wouldn't understand, but you could!

Yes Ann Marie there is a Santa Claus

There is a magic in the season I just know it!

When I was about 7 there was a massive storm in upstate NY, I know shocking. We were up at my Uncle Mike and Aunt Carm's on Christmas Eve and the storm hit bad. They lived about 20 minutes from my house and about 20 minutes from my other cousins so no one was going anywhere. We hadn't planned on a big ole sleep over but we went with it. All my cousins were there, we were stuffed from eating but were having a great time so who cares that we were stranded just meant more time screaming at each other in the loving Italian way we do.  Now keep in mind I'm not only the family princess but I'm the baby my cousins are all 10 years older. They didn't care if they got their gifts Christmas morning or a day later but what about Santa??? I was right at the age when my friends were all "there ain't no Santa" crap. And I wondered if it was true! I went to sleep at my Aunties all
snuggled in a bed (princesses get beds all the rest took the floor) and thought "if I have gifts in the morning there is a santa!". I didn't tell anyone what I thought I just dreamt of Christmas morning with my cousins and of My Friend Mandy doll.

I woke up very early and the snow was friggin crazy, it went up to the door and I wondered how we would ever get out. Thank god being the good Italians we had plenty of food! Ok back to the morning. I shoved my sister and told her to wake up she looked at me like I was nuts for what, PRESENTS ugh she was dense. But then I thought she's right If Santa was real there'd be gifts cause he would know where I was, if she doesn't care there's no such thing and my gifts are at 332 Orwood Place. I remember how bad I wanted that doll and how sad I was. I woke everyone up and we went downstairs to wake the smelly older boys, my brother included.

Holy Jesus and Happy Shamus!!! There were frigging gifts under that tree, a lot. My name was on some "AMIE", holy holy holy he is real. Santa is real. I opened the presents with everyone, there was paper everywhere, yelling and a fried something smelling so good. Then I opened it.... There she was Mandy! Yes Ann Marie there is a Santa! I called Tracy cause ya always call your BFF. Best Christmas ever, ever. I went back to school and told my stupid friends they were wrong Santa is real and he hooked me up. They agreed Santa was totally awesome and real.

When I think of that Christmas I try so hard to think about how my family was reacting to me. I'm crying as I'm typing cause I see Linda nudging Maria. I see Lori smiling and brushing my hair. I can see my brother laughing with Tommy, Chucky and Dave I thought they were making fun of me. I see my Grandma rubbing my dad’s shoulders and my Uncle Chuck and Uncle Mike nodding their heads. My Aunt Madeline's cooking with Aunt Carm, their whispering and smiling. I see me playing with my Mandy completely oblivious to them but feeling so filled with love, magic and joy, the energy from them.
I tell my kids this story and about how I felt and how awesome it was when they give me the Santa crap because that was all real and Santa is real. I stop the story there though to them. But my daddy and my 2 uncles got in their car and drove 2 hours in a snow storm that made history to Lyncourt then 2 hours back to get the gifts. They are the real Santa’s but the magic of what they did is what the holidays are about. My mother had been gone for 6 years but between the trial and the aftermath I'm sure the hurt was still raw. They just as much as me need the magic of Christmas. They need the warmth, laughter, love and joy. Isn't that what the holidays are about? Giving others and the feeling it gives you! Isn't it about love and life no matter how difficult your life is.

Maybe this story is exaggerated, maybe it only took an hour but I don't care the magic is there. I keep thinking of this time in my life, when my family needed happiness and joy and how they did just that by making the princess happy. And I am forever grateful, forever. They knew this princess was going to need magic for life. And a shiny tiara!

Posted on November 24, 2013 by Ann marie Otis.

Dear Cancer

Image from I Had Cancer check them

Dear Cancer,

When you came rushing into my life I had no idea how long you would be here, I thought you were a one and done thing. I remember saying “I just want to cut it out and be done”. Well, the joke was on me, you played that well. Three years later I am still dealing with your dumb ass. Tomorrow I will have surgery to remove the painful, last 4 inches in scar you left behind that keep setting off the MRI, then off to radiation. You really enjoy making life hell. I wish I could say I am so done with you but I have realized something over these years, it is a lifelong thing this relationship.

Here is the kicker though-you still do not win. Yes, you stole my friends from this earth and I am disgusted by that for sure, it makes me want revenge and that is a big mistake on your part. What you do to those with metastatic cancer is inexcusable and the fear you set in for us that are now at 30% risk of it spreading is warped! But every time we live our life in spite of the pain we win, not you. When we go to the doctors and hear NED it is us that is victorious. I hear our metster friends with stable scans and see the winning in them not you not even for a moment. Every time we bond as friends because you came crashing in we are the winners not you. That is the biggest victory and one you can not ever take from us.

See you may think you are doing such a great job by giving us all the after effects but we overcome them by living our life anyway. Depression, weight gain, lymphedema, pain, neuropathy we get but we take it create a new normal just to stick it to you. I see my Stage 4 extended family going on trips and I laugh in your face. I see my friends at chemo smiling and singing and crack up at how you are trying to take them down but you can not. And when my friends are tired and crying we as a cancer family are there to hold them I think screw you cancer you can not win because we are united. Brave has many faces and it breathes in everyone of us in death, you are not brave but a coward with nothing to back you up.

No there is not a cure for you yet or a way to prevent your stupid ass from entering our body but we are making strides in banning together to get the word out that research not ribbons is the key. Now more than ever we have options at our disposal, like clinical trials, that help make treatment advancements possible. We are determined to show the world that cancer is not pretty all tied in a bow that you are an ugly beast with death in your path. Once they see that you are over! You did what you could but I see your fear almost as clear as our anxiety that you are coming. Cancer, understand this you can take all this from us and think you are winning but every time we laugh, smile, hold each other up, live our life and even cry through all this we WIN not you.

Sincerely and exhausted but living through every step

Ann Marie

I love PINK

The color you jack asses! Pink is a color that is all nothing more nothing less. It is not meant to cure shit or doing anything more than be a color that you either like or do not. Unfortunately breast cancer took the color and made it into a marketing game, a money making profit off our cancer. Yes, it did do not try to deny it. They took a simple color and made anything from pens to garbage cans to vibrators to KFC buckets. Then they took the pink shit and made it sexy cause breast cancer is so erotic. NOT!!  How does taking your bra off for breast cancer do anything for us who can not even wear one because it is too freaking painful!!!???

You take a month like "Pinktober" and you think great time to educate, tell stories, raise money for research and none of that happens. It is all pink ribbons and happy celebrations and selling a bunch of plastic crap. I know that is all the celebrations are fabulous and should not be ignored and not what I am suggesting. Here is a thought what about those awesome stories of those who were given 2 years to live and are going on 5 or how about the men who get breast cancer or maybe talk to someone who lost their job because of this freaking disease and listen to how they plan to get on their feet again! There is a whole culture that is being ignored just because they do not fit the pretty pink ribbon, I say we untie that and listen to their stories! Wouldn't be amazing if all cancers got together and entwined their stories, how powerful that would be?

I actually believe that we can use the pink ribbon to talk about all this but society has screwed it up so bad that we become too divided. We as a culture only want to see a smiling woman saying "I DID IT" I am cured she elludes while she is dressed in head to toe in my beautiful pink color. While the reality is that is probably has PTSD, scars she cries about, friends she has lost, fears that her cancer will come back (30% change it will FYI) and that she is changed because of cancer. The sexy ads are honestly for me the worse, it makes me so angry that I go crazy. That image puts a nasty pink vomit taste in many people's mouth, a sexy gorgeous women who clearly did not have breast cancer in a super sexy bra saying "do you do a self breast check". Take a minute and understand why that is so offensive. When you make this sexy or trivial in ads and promotions it makes the disease less serious in so many people's eyes therefore people can not heal the right way. We are struggling with the loss of our sexy and media is shoving breast cancer sex down our throats, what the fuck are they thinking?? AND research is not handled right as a result because they can not sell research as "sexy" or pretty pink ribbony crap, you dig?

Breast cancer is never not even for one single moment happy or pretty. It is scary as fuck, it scars you both physically and mentally for life. It takes your body and mutilates it so bad you your self esteem is altered so bad that affects even your desire for sex with the person who has loved and supported you through all this. Breast cancer takes your hormones and rips them out and demolishes you which in turn makes most so depressed they can not see straight. This all happens so fast you can not even put it to words until you are years out and by then your loved ones want you to "move on" yet you are still in doctor appointments, FOR LIFE. Explain how that can be tied in a perfect pink ribbon?

So, while I get that this month is supposed to raise awareness it is simply done wrong there is no denying it. If we could all find ways to get through this month and really open the chapters to NEW discussion what a month it would be. We all know about mammo, self breast checks right? But tell a dude about this maybe he does not know. Tell a story about someone with metastatic cancer and how she or he is LIVING through their DX. Talk about triple neg or inflammatory. Or maybe discuss one one the many points above and how you think we could change or help someone in the middle of this. The point is that the shit we are doing is not working right?! What are we racing for? I am so confused. But that is the next post trust me there is a story there. I am all for the sisterhood  the bonding is what we need to get through this and being proud of yourself. I am not for selling this disease to make a buck and there is a difference and there is harm if you do not watch it. I ask that before you buy anything think about it and maybe find another way to show support and love because most pink crap isn't cure shit right? Not everything goes to real research you have to know what you are buying. Unless it is a pink tiara then please do and send it my way!

Look I just want my freaking color back. I want to wear pink and not have someone say " oh do you support breast cancer?"

"Why Yes I donated two and so much more!"