I will remember

I will remember because these shoes are CUTE!

I will remember because she is smiling under that mask!

A while ago a girlfriend who is a survivor said "one day you will be able to forget this" she said that as the years go it becomes more distant. I NEVER want that to happen. This has been difficult, stressful and exhausting. But it has evolved me. Not just how it changed my body, we have all seen that! It has changed my outlook. I want to think of life every day and how I am actually breathing. When people ask me lately "How are you?" I say "I am breathing and that's half the battle". I am lucky enough to take in air and exhale, as I do that I feel life. I can not stop thinking about those fighting the last round of the cancer battle as they take their last breath and the life leaves them. How they have family next to them suffering because of cancer even though they do not directly have it. They should have peace and calm when they leave, not pain and suffering.If only it was easy for their family to remember the life they had and how great it was (even the hard shitty times was life). Peace comes from within and digging deep for this is a challenge. Yet once you do, you find the calm. I know some of you are ready this thinking WTF did she smoke, but it is me evolving!
 I never really had a filter system but believe me, if you heard the thoughts in my head you would commit me, so I have do a small one. Now I have nothing so if you do not want to know what an ass you are being do not ask, or better yet just stay away. I actually called myself a big ass yesterday because I was being one, looking at myself has been hard during this, but eye opening. I also have been on a mission to tell people how fantastic they are, it makes them smile and that directly makes me feel great. I am selfish like that.
I will not forget because I am on a serious mission to help those suffering from stupid dumb breast cancer. MC and I are starting a support group (with the help of Nikki) to help women, young women, cope with the before, during and after. Exercise the body and release the mind are both the basic part to healthy living.
Cure or Bust will be up and running soon (I will let you know when I start the team, please do not do anything until I do). I will be there to remember how this year challenged me and how I was powerful!! I will be there to give hope to those fighting. I will be celebrating SURVIVORS myself included. But mostly I will be honoring those taken.
The taken are what will keep me remembering. Keep me fighting for the cure of ALL cancers. So, get ready people, get mad with me and help me eradicate cancer. Don't worry we will have a celebration of life, those fighting, those surviving and those lost. They all deserve it!
Posted on September 15, 2012 .