So true right cause hell you never know! Hence the reason I think there is no easy cancer because we have no idea what other challenges are added to their diagnosis or how they will handle it. That being said I am kind and nice especially when out and about. To the point where my children roll their eyes and ask "do you have to talk to everyone?". Well yes because maybe they may need that little chat. There has been the occasional time where I ripped someone a new ass but that has been on rare occasion and always justified I swear. Hell I am not perfect but for the most part I am nice.
The other day we were running errands and Tom was dropping me at the grocery store he pulled up let me and two kids out and as I was getting my bags out of the trunk horns started blaring. I looked up at this very angry woman flipping off my husband and screaming "what the fuck is your god damn problem?". She pulls into a spot Tom rolls down the window and says sorry that he was dropping his wife off. She replies "You are blocking the god damn lot you idiot. Hope you get hit". I said "Excuse me my children are here". She pulls up her face mask on and says she does not give a shit. We go to get our cart and she literally smacks Anthony with her bags and slams the cart into us which Sam was pushing. She had a beanie on, looking like she was in treatment possibly and the medical mask tells me she must not want germs or to get sick.
I spent the next 45 minutes avoiding this woman in the store and explaining to my kids that sometimes people are going through so much that they can not help but project their negativity on others. Sam who is the kindest soul always willing to help with a smile was sad and asked if we should help her -no I said she will not respond to that (fact is I wanted to rip her a new ass but felt she had enough to deal with). Anthony who usually only helps the young pretty ladies (he is a work in progress) was mad-he didn't understand why this adult acted this way and why she was getting away with it. He wanted me to "go off on her" but I knew this woman was too angry and on this day I was too sad. I explained that she may have a serious illness, someone may have died or she may have financial issues that are so stressful. He looked at me and said "So do you mom".
Here is what that lady did not know about me. I was going to my friends funeral that day and my heart was broken all day I had been crying. My house is a mess. The upstairs bathroom literally collapsed into the downstairs and we have insurance to deal with and a bad roofer- house hell if you would and really it is bad the worse you can imagine. That I have major neurological issues that have resulted in specialists because of the increased numbness and pain all down my right side. I have ad 4 migraines this month and if you have suffered from these they suck - the days after your body feels depleted. I deal with constant pins and needles in my feet and hands so bad that sometimes I can not text ad the ringing in my ears that is 24/7 and I want to cry a lot. That day my kids came with me because every step I took was excruciating I could not feel my foot when I stepped down and this effected my walking and why Tom drove me and dropped me.I physically could not drive because I have optic nerve damage and my eye were very blurred. We all have challenges in life but how we reacted to them on others is a result of the person we are.
I have many friends all over the world that have terminal cancer. They deal with more than I can ever even begin to understand. Physical and emotional issues financial stress and the reality of their disease is tremendous. But they are kind, they are not perfect and have their moments I am sure but that day all I could think about is if that was them would they have treated us like that? Some people are just mean and nasty, cancer or illness or life is their excuse to act this way even more and I say bull freaking shit. Cancer did not make me kind I was before just like they were mean before this will not change them. What they or me or you are going through is difficult to say the least but we must still be nice and kind if not what is left?
When I think about how I want my kids to be when they grow up the first thing I think about is kind. I want them to talk to the store clerk the same way they talk to the doctor or the teachers at school the same way they do the custodians. I want them to smile at the homeless person and offer a hand to the elderly. Love they brother, isn't that in the bible? No I am not a religious girl but I believe Jesus was a cool dude who treated the lepers, the apostles, the kings and the Mary Magdalenes all the same. His actions were that of kindness. With kindness we can have humanity which I think is badass. No it won't cure jack shit but when I am painfully walking through the store and someone very nicely helps me straighten my tiara that may ease my pain just a little because it might make me feel like some random strangers cares about this princess and others out in this crazy world! Be nice it does the world and your soul good plus you never know who you are effecting.