May 7th 2012
LAST YEAR ON THIS DAY....
Lump found, doctor called, mammo set up.I went in to have a mammo and I was nervous as hell. I have had a lot but this was serious. As the attendant was placing my lumpy breast in that flattener she asked if there as any changes. Would a lump with black ooze coming out be a change? She pressed down on my breast and black sludge came out all over the machine. ‘Well there isn't anything coming up on here.” Really cause there sure is a lot coming OUT on here. We went to a sonogram. As she rolls over the lump it still doesn’t show up. “I feel it when I roll over, but nothing shows” She proceeds to check normal and tells me I “should” consult with my doctor. YOU THINK??!!
I went off to my GYN, have I told you how awesome they are, like super duper awesome. He felt my breast and the lump, took a sample of the black ooze and made some calls. This is “NOT NORMAL” he said and every nurse in there agreed with him. They were not panicked but I could see major concern. The first doctor wouldn’t see me until August 31st cause the mammo said “normal”, jesus I would be dead by then. I had an appointment for May 31st with a breast care doctor. My GYN family told me to call if I had any questions, concerns or changes. Not once did they say “don’t worry”, maybe that was what they were supposed to say but let me tell you they knew I was going to and I think they were too. I called and called a lot, honestly I think I have the BIGGEST folder there, not sure that is a good thing.
My life spiraled from here. Google became the devil. The internet is great yet diabolical at the same time. I was in the height to Race for the Cure and in a sea of pink. Survivors at every turn. I kept thinking about Linda and her smile, she gave me comfort. It could be so many things, but I had to wait. Don’t you just love waiting?? The fact that we have to wait for all this is nuts. The thoughts and ideas in our heads is what really adds to the stress.
Let me just state that NO LUMP is normal and if anything black, yellow, green or purple (oh I would I have loved that) comes out of you it is NOT normal. Unless of course you are an alien then this maybe completely normal. But for this princess no friggin way!!!