I have to say, meeting with a plastic surgeon about putting implants in really sent me for a loop. Every step is making stupid dumb breast cancer real. I wonder when it will stop feeling like another girl's life?
They lop off my old boobs and put tissue expander in and then weekly pump me up to my desired size. Wild! Tom gets no say in this, although he wishes:) Then I go back in 2 months to get the implants put in. Did I mention that I friggin hate staying in the hospital? Although having nice perky boobs that will not require a bra just maybe worth it. Bonus, looks like our Cape Cod trip should be safe plus NYS Fair, here I come. Yes my children can relax....there will be little boobs there while we are away.
This is the boring very short version of a long ass doctor appointment. Every doctor has been great and I have not been kept waiting at all. I have also done my share of name dropping through this, it pays to know lots of people who know lots of people! Thanks to everyone who has been helping me, I am keeping a list and you will not be forgotten. I feel a little like a mafia princess dropping names that end in a vowel, getting boobs, asking for favors that cannot be refused, and kicking stupid breast cancer's friggin ass!!!
Evil Twin
Nurse-“This is just saline to flush out the vein.”
Me-“What no crack or heroin?”
Nurse-“No, I lost my supplier.”
Me-“I grew up over here. I could find you one.”
Nurse-“How do you do with needles?”
Me-“Fine. I shoot up daily”
Nurse-“WOW you have good veins, must go between the toes”
Thankfully the wonderful staff at St. Joe’s Imaging
understood my sense of humor. Especially, when the nurse told MC I look familiar, maybe I have an evil twin, and she said "NO SHE IS THE EVIL TWIN", thanks beotch! For those who know me wel,l the MRI was not fun. I
had to sit still, have a LOUD pounding in my ear, lay on my chest and NOT TALK for over 30 minutes!!
I thought my head was going to erupt from comments, jokes and gripes. My sweet
sweet friend’s husband Dr. Dave Kunz (radiologist) read my report after and
explained it to me (well to MC; I did not understand what the hell they were
saying). He even did an ultra sound on
the left breast because there was a spot. Here are the facts:
1.
It did not spread, great for me!
2.
She did not get it all, not so great.
3. The other boob has a spot that would be “watched”closely, but it is getting lopped off so who cares!
3. The other boob has a spot that would be “watched”closely, but it is getting lopped off so who cares!
4. Dave is going to send all my reports to Dana Faber in Boston for a reading as well. See it pays to know LOTS of people!!!
Next step….plastic surgeon tomorrow!! We will discuss what he will do and how big, all that good stuff. Tom is excited for that appointment.
Let’s say it again, EARLY DETECTION SAVED MY LIFE! Just you wait, stupid dumb breast cancer, I am taking you down!!! CURE OR BUST because I can imagine a cure....
Damn this is real?!
Wow! I feel like this is happening to someone else. I have gone through this with some many friends, now I am taking this stupid dumb adventure. Tomorrow starts the doctor visits, the waiting, the insurance issues and all I can think about is "I swear if I can not go to opening day at the Great New York State Fair, someone is going to get hurt". I will not let this LUMP in the road stop me. I will let it slow me down for a little. It will never pull me down. I will let my friends and family help me. I am saying this both to remind me to let them and for them to remember that I will need help. I got 4 friggin kids and a husband who will need a hand!
I have beast mode on full blast. You have to make lemonade with those lemons, cause hell they are free lemons (just add tequila). Free boobs and all I had to do was get stupid dumb breast cancer!
MRI Monday
Monday is MRI day, what a great way to spend my morning. I am so lucky because a good friend's sweet hubby is a radiologist at St. Joe's imaging and he will be reading my report. My girl MC will then translate it to me, I swear all this makes me feel a little like a dumb butt (Julian's favorite word). I will use every resource I have!!
Technology is so fabulous! I will be spending more time on the phone than I want. So this way you can be in my business without being in my face about it. After appointments and surgeries I will post what the news is. Thanks so much for your love, support and JOKES!!! Most of you know my humor and know that will get me through this. I am hoping to not offend anyone here but if I do deal with it. After all I do have stupid dumb breast cancer!!!
