I do like to win
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| At the Race for the Cure 2012 with my Nikki |
Needs and Wants
So I got stupid dumb breast cancer, what do you do? OK I am talking about after the doctor appointments, double mastectomy, chemo and all that shit...what do you do??? DUH, you shop! I do not need bras, I am gonna love that (there will be a bra give away party, I have a drawer full! Nikki has claimed the turquoise and black strapless but all others are up for grabs) . New dresses for sure to stuff new boobs into is a must. BUT it is all about SHOES right now!! Put on beautiful, strappy heels and you feel instantly sexy. I have no problem walking around this house in heels. The boys think I am nuts and Tom just keeps smiling. I want these shoes very bad. If anyone reading this blog knows where to get them please comment. I need these!!! We talk about "needs and wants" in this house and while I know the difference I still NEED these. I want to rock these heels through this stupid dumb lumpy ass adventure. So, all you minions get on it and help a chick with breast cancer get her need, yes I am playing that card.
Never underestimate the power of a woman on a mission. Tom and I found this shoe tonight! Yippppeeeee and blahahahahahahahaha!!! It is a collectible shoe as in 1 made of resin. We have been cracking up and wondering why no one has made this shoe yet. It would look so fabulous on my foot!
Free boobs and all I had to get was breast cancer
My journey through the lumps....in pictures
My wonderful friend Genevieve Fridley has been taking pictures of this journey. Some are fun, some emotional, some crazy, some naked. I am not sure if the later ones will ever see this blog but they are ever so important to me. I want to look back at this and remember what I looked like, how I felt and be proud. Life is unpredictable and ever changing but love and support is constant. EFF YOU STUPID DUMB BREAST CANCER, I will be fierce and you will not win!
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| Girl friends are always there for you or in there for you! |
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| They will hold me up.. |
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| They will hold my hand.... |
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| They will hold me... |
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| They will rock heels and a bathing suit... |
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They will laugh and cry with me...
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| but they will NOT let me be cancer |
What cancer will or will not do
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| Will NOT break this family! |
Those breast cancer women
When I started the Race for the Cure team first it was for my grandma who helped raised me, then for my friend Lisa, then my friend MaryAnn, then it became about "those breast cancer women". I thought about all the ways breast cancer changed a woman. Those curves and cleavage that show her beautiful, womanly body were now going to be fake or gone. The breast milk that sustained her babies was now tainted with a disease. The nipples that are so exciting were going to lose all feeling and even be removed. The fact that no 2 woman have the same breasts making her unique were now "what size do you want?". The fright that builds with all the doctor appointments along with physical scars that breast cancer leaves, too. I felt like those things helped define a woman. Then I got stupid dumb breast cancer and I was enlightened. Breast cancer does not define us it refines us. The mastectomy shows the courage that "yes I had breast cancer and kicked it OUT". The ducts that held the milk are gone showing the strength to fight this disease. Who needs nipples? Get rid of them showing the hope that there will be a cure! The scars show the battle and the fighter, reminding us that healing has begun. It is ok to be scared being brave is doing what you have to even though you are scared. Stupid dumb breast cancer will never define or have me because I have courage, hope, strength, plus I am a fighter. Even if there is chemo it does not matter, that is when my family and friends take over and give me courage, strength, and hope reminding me I am a fighter.
This advertisment was brought to you by the team leader of CURE OR BUST, who is battling stupid dumb breast cancer, we are a proud CNY Susan G. Komen supporter
This advertisment was brought to you by the team leader of CURE OR BUST, who is battling stupid dumb breast cancer, we are a proud CNY Susan G. Komen supporter
I have something to get off my chest
I am NOT sick so how can this be true??? I feel absoulty fantastic and am looking forward to my work out today, going to Target, and being with my extended family tonight celebrating my cousin's birthday (stay away from the baseball game tonight we are "that family"). If I was SICK I wouldn't be doing those things. People who have cancer are not sick because cancer does not make you feel sick. It is the surgeries, chemo, radiation that makes them (or I guess me, WTF!) feel like crap. I do not want this stupid dumb breast cancer but I am stuck with it so I have to deal. Well, guess what.....I am not taking it sitting down. I am taking it by working out, eating healthy, being around my family and friends because those things are making me stronger and get me ready for the fight. I am from the North Side (not to be confused with North Syracuse) and truthfully have been in a few fights, so I got this. Please do not treat me like I am "SICK" treat me like the fighter I am who got stuck with stupid dumb breast cancer. Bring me positive vibes, healthy food, a cocktail Cafe Patron on ice please and your lovin' support (the ocasional gift is acceptable too). Then every little thing will be all right.
That felt great to get off my chest now I just need to get rid of these 2 cancer filled boobs and I will be GOOD TO GO! In the words of our friend "You're fine, just walk it off"!
That felt great to get off my chest now I just need to get rid of these 2 cancer filled boobs and I will be GOOD TO GO! In the words of our friend "You're fine, just walk it off"!
Doc #2
"The doctor sees all her breast cancer patients at the oncology center" says the secretary.
"Shit I am the BREAST CANCER PATIENT", says the chick with stupid dumb breast cancer.
The appointment yesterday was long, draining, and depressing. They are under construction for the new cancer treatment center and let me tell you it looks so sad. These poor people go down this crazy hall into the bowels of the hospital waiting for Freddy Kruger to jump out to get treatment for hours and end up feeling like a mack truck ran them over. When the very nice receptionist took my info I almost said "this is so depressing for these patients", then I realized I am the patient. I do not do patient well. I do a lot of other things very well but be a patient helllllsssss noooooo. The magazines in the waiting room were dated 2005, I mean come on get us cancer people some updated US weekly.
The meeting with the doctor verified that I do have breast cancer, hmmmm really??? Although it is the best breast cancer you can have, "it is just DCIS", it is still cancer. That is not great and should not be taken lightly. She really would have thought it was a papilloma and says my cause is "rare". I guess I really do have to be different on all levels. This doctor agreed with my doctor and thinks my course of treatment is right. At the surgery the doctor will test my lymph nodes on both sides, checking the level of cancer. They will know then if there is more cancer but still send it out to be checked. There is a 20% chance it comes back negative at surgery then in lab is positive. That must be a fun chat, "sorry we were kidding it isn't negative after all, would you like a barf bag?". The whole boob then goes off to be dissected and tested (think they send it to FM High School for science class??). After all that they will decide on which steps to take from there. I have to keep chemo in my head somewhere just to be prepared. It is hard up in my brain there are a lot of voices up there and right now they have a LOT to say. If I do not need chemo then yippeee if I do then I will be ready but I will not go there until then. Plus until all the results are in we will not be able to breath any sigh of relief!
I am still in shock and feel like this is some sick friggin joke. I made deals with the breast gods that if I did all that work for Race for the Cure I would go untouched by breast cancer. Stupid dumb breast cancer!!! Cancer does not hold any prejudices it slaps whoever it wants. Please get mammos and do self breast examines, early detection saved my life. Do not be a fool and think "it won't happen to me" cause you are me! Well, I am more fabulous than most but you know what I mean:)
"Shit I am the BREAST CANCER PATIENT", says the chick with stupid dumb breast cancer.
The appointment yesterday was long, draining, and depressing. They are under construction for the new cancer treatment center and let me tell you it looks so sad. These poor people go down this crazy hall into the bowels of the hospital waiting for Freddy Kruger to jump out to get treatment for hours and end up feeling like a mack truck ran them over. When the very nice receptionist took my info I almost said "this is so depressing for these patients", then I realized I am the patient. I do not do patient well. I do a lot of other things very well but be a patient helllllsssss noooooo. The magazines in the waiting room were dated 2005, I mean come on get us cancer people some updated US weekly.
The meeting with the doctor verified that I do have breast cancer, hmmmm really??? Although it is the best breast cancer you can have, "it is just DCIS", it is still cancer. That is not great and should not be taken lightly. She really would have thought it was a papilloma and says my cause is "rare". I guess I really do have to be different on all levels. This doctor agreed with my doctor and thinks my course of treatment is right. At the surgery the doctor will test my lymph nodes on both sides, checking the level of cancer. They will know then if there is more cancer but still send it out to be checked. There is a 20% chance it comes back negative at surgery then in lab is positive. That must be a fun chat, "sorry we were kidding it isn't negative after all, would you like a barf bag?". The whole boob then goes off to be dissected and tested (think they send it to FM High School for science class??). After all that they will decide on which steps to take from there. I have to keep chemo in my head somewhere just to be prepared. It is hard up in my brain there are a lot of voices up there and right now they have a LOT to say. If I do not need chemo then yippeee if I do then I will be ready but I will not go there until then. Plus until all the results are in we will not be able to breath any sigh of relief!
I am still in shock and feel like this is some sick friggin joke. I made deals with the breast gods that if I did all that work for Race for the Cure I would go untouched by breast cancer. Stupid dumb breast cancer!!! Cancer does not hold any prejudices it slaps whoever it wants. Please get mammos and do self breast examines, early detection saved my life. Do not be a fool and think "it won't happen to me" cause you are me! Well, I am more fabulous than most but you know what I mean:)
Cancer Perks
As much as cancer just plain sucks there are serious perks! My family and friends have been beyond generous. It amazes me that people are really nice and not everyone is a complete ass. I haven't even gotten to the really bad junk yet and am speechless at the out pouring of gifts! Yes, I said speechless:) Not sure what Tom likes more the gifts or my lack of speaking. Who knew that when someone gets stupid dumb breast cancer they get cancer perks??? Thank you to all those being so thoughtful. Really you have no idea how much your thoughtfulness means to me. Do not worry if you have been waiting to give me your cancer gift you have all summer. Actually, I have been told I can pull the "I have breast cancer" card for 10 years. HMMMMMM......shoes really do make a girl feel better!
