Filler up

Went today for my follow up check and everything looks good. Healing is coming along nicely, too bad it still looks like a patch work to me, but the doctor knows best. I have some air pockets,but  there isn't fluid build up any more! I decided to get the first fill next Friday, unleaded or desiel? I am nervous yet thrilled the process is coming along and the final results will be in. I may get one more fill before the healing of the scars and tissue begins. We scheduled the surgery for November 9, I have a very important holiday party on December 1st and NEED to get the right dress for! I hope to show the girls off in a fabbbbbbuuuuuulllloooouuusssss dress and my surgery heels!
So on a very important part of this visit, I got cleared to add some weights to my work out and kick it back into gear! This could not be better timing because my weight bitch is back today, that is MC FYI. Come Sunday morning I get to get back to class. Yipppppeeeeeeee!!!! Ok, so she did say 3 or 5 pounds only and bitch push ups only but still this makes me so happy like over the top excited. Not working out has directly affected my mood, you are just one work out away from a good mood, so I am like 500 behind. I just want my fucking body back, granted it is the updated remodeled version but it's my body.
Tomorrow is the great NYS Fair. And anyone who knows me- I mean anyone- knows that opening day is my favorite day. As a little girl my grandma and I would go have breakfast and wait until the buildings open. "If it's free, it's for me" was her favorite saying, my Sammy boy now says it the whole day. We went to the fair every single day, literally, even if it was just for dinner. We went when it opened and stayed until it closed. I worked there all through high school and loved every minute of it.  I am so happy I do not have to miss opening day. If you ever get lost anywhere at the fair just call me I know every short cut there is. So tomorrow if you are trying to get ahold of me, don't stress that I am not getting back to you right away, remember I will be looking at the cows, love them, checking out the chickens, why are they near the chicken dinner restaurants?, holding chicks in 4H with my boys, and eating....ahhhhh eating! Deep fried pickles, deep fried snickers, deep fried Oreos, deep fried Mac n cheese, corn on the cob, wine slushies, AND PIZZA FRITTE only at the Villa only!! Oh and the butter sculpture......oh wait and the sand sculpture.....so much to see and do, sooooooo excited!

Posted on August 22, 2012 .

My sweet little cousin sending me love

My little cousin Halen made this for me! So so so sweet, we all start out that way.
I want to explain why this was posted. Halen is 9 years old and showing her support to me the best way she knows how. The bigger picture is this... She is going to be breast cancer aware for the rest of her life. She will remember to get herself checked and hopefully remind her friends. This is why I am so proud of this rock and shell creation!
Posted on August 20, 2012 .

Crazy ass loud Italian cancer free party

Sometimes I think my family just needs an excuse to party. What better one than me being cancer free!? My cousin hosted the day complete with pink well...everything. The food and wine flowed as did the water balloons and pranks. Some may find it humorous to play a joke on others but they tend to forget who they are dealing with. You know who you are! Being with all my family today meant so much to me. This has been a long, stressful, painful summer and I am ready to just be me. People keep telling me how strong I am well these people are what make me powerful. I am the woman I am today directly because of every person there. Some added wisdom and guidance, some strength, power and humor and sarcasm,  but all added love. We maybe crazy and loud and crazy again with some extra loud but when push comes to shove you better not mess with us because we are strong for each other to a fault. Thanks so much my crazy ass loud Italian family, this lumpy stupid dumb breast cancer summer did not stop our partying!
All Craziness
JUMP
Big Sister Lori


My Daddy and G-Deb
My brother Al
Sweet Halen Rose

TFO



The Hostess Heather


My girls and my boy
Posted on August 19, 2012 .

Pissed but still awesome




My cousin called me today because her friend got the diagnosis of a life time, breast cancer! She asked if I would contact her, of course anything to help a sister out. BUT it pissed me off. It proved the 1 out of 8 woman fact, the every 2 minutes someone is diagnosed, the 100 lives are claimed every day to breast cancer, but we do not have to accept this. All of us can do something, I do not mean make a meal (which is helpful) or send flowers (which brighten a day) or buy shoes (which is AWESOME) but be active before that call is you or someone close. I have so many events planned you will have no excuse to not be active! What is it going to take to get you pissed off enough to join me? I am so pissed off that my boobs are gone and I have these foreign plastic bags in there, that I am still in pain, that I have these ugly scars. I am pissed my summer was so stressful, that I couldn't wear half my bathing suits, that I can not exercise the way I want. I am pissed off big time and that can only mean one thing. I am going to be a active in reducing those numbers. I am going to need all of you to support me on this. I will never be without breast cancer, I have scars forever and pills to take and more doctor appointments. So, in order to shove it back to stupid dumb breast cancer I have to take it down. I am pissed to that another beautiful sweet mother/woman/friend/daughter has to deal with this lumpy road. Be pissed with me and join me to eradicate breast cancer. I mean what else do you have to do??? Please pass my blog along to any survivor, fighter that you know to show that stupid dumb breast cancer will did not take this woman down, it pissed her off!

Check this out, my friend Shari's blog is #1 and Angelo is on there too. This is awerness!!!
http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-breast-cancer-blogs?fb_ref=.UBscGxPFh9k.like&fb_source=other_multiline




Posted on August 15, 2012 .

Home again

Home, kids fighting, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping...ahhhhh LIFE!!! Back in the saddle and its bittersweet. I feel better for sure and will enjoy this week free of doctor appointments and getting kids ready for school (it is the most WONDERFUL time of the year!!). Tried to drive yesterday, bad idea, Sam was freaking and it was just to Target but very difficult, WTF I need to get out!! The trip was fun but I must admit limited. It sucked not being able to do what I wanted without pain. The constant Jell-O shots helped greatly as did my personal bartender Meg. I had some fluid build up and had to sling my arm, not fun but I stopped me from using that arm, good thing it matched it matched my suit (always fashion forward). I am so not looking forward to the fills, DD here I come, NOT! Nor am I looking forward to the implant surgery, I want to work out and I mean WORK OUT to were I puke. DO not give me the "almost there", "look how far you have come", "next year will be better" bullshit because I know this but I am living it NOW. I have to keep my head in the days that are now so I can get through them then over them. One thing I always said about Race for the Cure and why some team numbers go down is this, people think that after the process you are finished with "all that cancer shit". I knew this not to be true that is why I have always pushed people to still join. SOOOO, here is what you need to keep in mind. Women who have fought and won still have medication to take, scars to look at and an ever changed body. The stupid dumb breast cancer does not go away it is always reminding us. There are woman finding their lump right now and their long, lumpy process has just begun. And those woman who have lost the fucking battle, well their family is living with that pain right now. So, in honor and memory of these beautiful, courageous woman my fight is just gearing up! Please mark your calenders for all the upcoming events, fund raisers and the RACE as I blog them. This battle is not just mine, but I am willing to be the pusher, I enjoy it so much. This is the year of celebrating life, fighting for a cure and honoring my breast cancer angels!

Another day, another breath
Posted on August 12, 2012 .

All good things must come to an end

Well, I knew that the end was coming, it's just accepting it now. What an amazing week!? The weather was absolutely perfect. I did as much relaxing as I possibly could handle and even more eating than I wanted. Tomorrow we are off to the chip factory and the brewery (the kids are so excited!!), then back to the beach and dinner at our traditional restaurant. Honestly, I do not want to leave, more than usual. I've taken a break from breast cancer these past 10 days, well except when I didn't feel my bathing suit top feel down and the beach saw my frankenstein scars but who cares! The reality of the expanders getting filled and implants going in is sinking in. I'm still sore and in some pain but it's better and these appointments are just followed by more discomfort. I want to do a fucking push up!! So tomorrow I will say good bye to Cape Cod and be thankful that for the last few days it gave me a break from stupid dumb breast cancer.

Posted on August 9, 2012 .

Good times

We are enjoying the sunshine weather has been amazing, picking blueberries Tommy made a killer blueberry pie last night, drinking Cape Cod beer filled 4 growlers on friday and I think they have to go back, doing jello shots Patron and lime jello YUM, yelling at each other come on we are Italian it is like talking, Megan caught a big ass fish that Tommy cooked up to perfect, visiting with friends who are 16 and are almost 6 feet tall, had a pedi by Salon da sloppy MG, and eating a lot I may need an intervention when I get home! Looking forward to another fanfrakingtastic day on the beach. For all you grammar correcting fools that want to correct me, I know that was a run on sentence but it was just how I want it and I am currently recovering from kicking stupid dumb breast cancer's ass and I can have my way so bite it!


Posted on August 5, 2012 .