Media makes me cringe a little...


SOOOOOO, here is the link to the Syracuse.com article that is in the Post Standard. It is a good article so my cringe is not there. It is the comments that come after. The ones I really want to reply to,  but need to take the high road instead of the lumpy one I am on. It has always amazed me the comments people make and how ridiculous they are. Well, now they will be about me. I hope you all help me as I take this pledge, remember you are NOT taking it so comment away!!!
  • I will pledge to do my best to take them with a grain of salt and move past.
  • I pledge that no matter how ass like the comment is I will refrain.
  • I pledge that even if the butt head gets under my skin I will keep my mouth shut.
  • I pledge that even if the fucking idiot says something so off base I will remain quiet.
  • I pledge that even if the person commenting never had breast cancer, but still finds the need to comment, I will hold my head high and say nothing.
SHIT!!! This is going to be hard, like unbelievably hard. I will need a lot of help here. I am unsure if I know how to do this.

http://npaper-wehaa.com/syracusenewtimes#2012/10/17/?page=26&mode=2


Above is the Syracuse News Times article!





http://blog.syracuse.com/cny/2012/10/manlius_womans_crusade_gives_breast_cancer_a_bad_name.html#incart_river
Posted on October 16, 2012 .

A Special Thanks to ........



 
For being golden to us, thanks!!



For being GOLD level that shines!
 For ALL the pamphlet and poster printing!!!




Liz at I've Been Framed for custom framing 4 pictures, you are fabulous!!!










 The Rabin Law Firm, The Motorcycle Lawyer! Love a silver bike level guy on my side!




CBRE global leader in commercial real estate services, silver globe that is!!



Lisa Bruno,  platinum support amazes me!

Kristin Muraco and family, diamonds are a girls best friend!




Peter Catalano on my silver side, what a way to hit stupid dumb breast cancer







Jon Nappa and Bruin Recycling for being a Silver Level, awesome way to start the day!
 
 

Bruin Recycling
Bruin Computer Trading, llc
1001 Vine St.
Liverpool NY 13088
315-410-0050 Ext. 101

 



For printing our fabulous shirts, they look fabulous!!
Courtney Armbruster and Joni Stiergerwald for this amazing logo, it blows me away!


For their Diamond Level donations, supporting Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer all the way!



For framing some of the pictures that will be displayed at various places. Kudos for the 10% of custom framing!!
For donating a flate screen TV to be raffled off for the TRAPPER'S II POKER event. AWESOME!
For hosting the event on October 21st, what a beautiful place!



For their Silver Level donations, Silver is great!


Posted on October 15, 2012 .

I love pink but please think...




Being PINK is fabulous, but do it actively. You do not have to go to far to be active in the fight against Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer. Join the Race for the Cure, help a friend with breast cancer get to a treatment, get a better understanding how deeply this disease effects us. I wear pink because I am fighting for the cause and I am proud to be surviving the battle! My girlfriends wear it because they are helping, supporting, and understanding it so much more. My cousins got inked because they do not want to forget how hard this battle is. My kids, my girlfriends kids, my little cousins, all rock the pink because they are our HOPE for a CURE!!! Support breast cancer awareness by being active, by understanding the depth of it, by being there for a friend, by joining CURE OR BUST!!! Wear the pink is being the ribbon. Don't you think a pink stiletto is more powerful that a ribbon, just saying??? Maybe they should change it.....





Posted on October 14, 2012 .

Beauty and Strength

 
Jen Burgess Thompson
http://www.amistillagirl.com/


 When I was diagnosed a lot of people gave me advice and notes, cards and gifts. Genevieve sent me this blog and I was captivated by Jen. Not just by her beautiful pictures but her writing. Her fight for survival was just what I wanted to see. And her pictures were, well, lovely. I am so sad and heavy hearted right now. Jen died today and even though we never met, I am in tears. We exchanged a couple of emails- nothing major just "fight on" or "sending you health". But cancer connected us. Jen is the reason why I will never stop my battle. Call me whatever you want: a pain in the ass, a loud mouth bitch, but I am unstoppable now. I need to fight for myself, for Jen, for Heather, for Susan, for Kim, for YOU!! Don't you dare try to stop me, your best bet is to join me.

To Jen's boys and her family, I have not a single word of comfort as you are grieving so hard right now. It will never get easier do not believe anyone who tells you that, you just get used to it. The hole you feel in your heart will slowly fill in, but never completely. It needs a spot for Jen to live. Let her live in your heart. Some day you will  find peace in this difficult time, but for now cry, scream, yell whatever you need to release.



 
 
 

 
 


Posted on October 12, 2012 .

Advance is done...

Well I was going to hold advance sale open until the weekend but we are closing it now. The tickets will be $15 at the door, if the fire codes allow us. I know people are concerned about parking but there is a Pascale's lot, you can park at Decker's Wine, under the bridge and I believe in the Town offices. The reaction is amazing, the sponsors have been incredible and Pascale's has been wonderful to work with. Hope you all got your tickets and that you are ready for this emotional event. I can not express enough thanks. Especially to my husband who has had it with looking at my breasts! Well, not really but he likes to say that.

Posted on October 10, 2012 .

My peeps at CNY Komen

Even before I was diagnosed with stupid dumb breast cancer I had such a connection to my Komen Affiliates here in Syracuse. The staff is warm, helpful and always available to answer my forty million questions. Even brave enough to give me their cell number. When I found my lump ironically it was open registration for Race for the Cure so I spent the day with Kate and Deb and Kelly and her sweet mom registering people. Kate and Deb were sitting in the chairs when I walked in and almost started to cry right there. I think my first words were "Hey girls, are we ready? I found a lump". They wanted me to go home and chill but I needed to stay. A survivor walked in and I was a little freaked but in some crazy way it reassured me "Shit people survivor this". When MC got there we went into the bathroom so she could feel the lump (we are talking breast cancer here so chill men). What a perfect place to do a breast exam!! When I left both Kate and Deb told me it was going to be ok and to call them Monday ASAP, both have been very respectful but supportive at the same time. Once the news spread to others at Komen the support was incredible. I do not want to hear any bullshit about Komen because for me they were/are amazing. No one is perfect and mistakes were corrected. I will focus on the positive and the fact that 75% of the money raised stays in CNY, directly affecting women with stupid dumb breast cancer, shit that's me!! I kept forgetting that. Anyway, here is their "Pink in Print" where I am featured in the survivor corner (wow I'm really dealing with breast cancer, it is still wigs me out). Livvy did a bang up job of not censoring this loud foul mouth survivor! What a a great opportunity to remind you to join the Cure or Bust team as we take CNY Race for the Cure by friggin storm this year!! If you are not at the race on this team May 18th you are missing out, trust that.
http://centralnewyork.info-komen.org/site/DocServer/fall-winter_newsletter_2012corrected.pdf?docID=4384&AddInterest=4441
Posted on October 8, 2012 .

Paying it forward...

My FIRST Pandora:) XOXOXO

I had a whacked out week.  Had an insane yet so successful Ladies Night at Trappers II (that is in Minoa people!!). I got crap news at the doctor's office complete with a run around. I felt like shit and was very discouraged. Got called names by several people for just being me and doing what I can to help others with stupid dumb breast cancer. My boobs went off at the court house and held up the line (ok that was hilarious but still a little bizarre). BUT BUT BUT......

My girlfriend Tina called, emailed and even knocked down a few doors to get me some donations. Seriously, amazing friend here who has always had my back and now has my front! My "seestar" Gina even with her hectic life made a call to get a donation that arrived the NEXT day. This girl would do anything for a friend and I love her for it. THEN......a beautiful woman who I have never met ever in my life, sent me the above bracelet! I mean WOW how the hell do I thank her. It is beautifully pink and it brought tears to my eyes. And I hate being a sap but seriously the kindness is unreal!! Valary did this because she wanted to make me smile, she did that and so much more. How many people have done something like that just out of kindness because they wanted to?? My grandmother told me my mom used to say "do it from your heart or not all". I have no idea if she ever said this she died when I was 1 but my entire life I have lived by this. Which is way if I say something or do it you know I really meant it, I am that straight up. To see friends that I have known forever, ones I have known for a few years and strangers I have never known do this amazes me and gives me HOPE. This is all joining in the fight against stupid dumb breast cancer, through donations and gifts of hope. Stop what you are doing today whether it is at the soccer field, baseball game, running errands and do something to make someone smile. Buy a coffee for a stranger or a cookie for the man in line at the snack shack or a candy bar for the cashier at the store or help someone get their groceries into the car JOIN the race with a friend and pay for their registration (you know I had to add that). DO SOMETHING and say "This is for Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer's pay back". Post it here or Face book. I triple dog double dare your ass!! I beat you get more out of it than the person you are making SMILE!! PINK POWER today people:)

Posted on October 6, 2012 .

a helpful hint....







I was off to get an MRI today which just adds worry even though you are hoping it is nothing. So yes I was stressed out but that is all part of having tests done now. I went off to the MRI this morning entourage following (yes I consider MC and Genevieve my entourage). I was seated in the room by the nice staff and handed the stack of paperwork.  It always cracks me up when I have to fill out the paper work for these tests, really you don't have this on file?? Why do you need all this info AGAIN!!!!?? We chuckled at the "have you ever been hit by a bullet or any other metal object?" Come on I am not a gang banger....any more (JOKE it's a JOKE). You can not have metal in these MRI machines because they use magnetics. Thank god I dodged that bullet in 1995, phew. WAIT, I have expanders in that have magnetic pieces and there is the question line 46 "Do you have tissue expanders in".  SHIT SHIT and a little more SHIT. First, great job to the doctor who ordered that she should have known this. Second, now what?? Well, I could wait until after the swap in late November. UMMMMMM, I do not do waiting well. I did what I always do I made calls to people in high places. The doctor that referred me kept using the term "only taking calls that are 911 relevant" when I called WTF does that mean, don't you think I am 911 important cause I AM DAMN IT!
Well, I hopped on my phone and called my favorite most loving OB/GYN office  because I know they think of me as 911. They called the referring doctor and started the fire which I then stoked. When I called back I not only had to rehash what the nurse just told her but she said they did not know I had expanders in, seriously about to blow at this point. I was dealing with dumb asses.She had to call me back!! After what felt like an hour later I called her back, she put me on hold and said she would call me back again. I am being nice because I was cussing like never before (props to my entourage for keeping me calm) and I am giving you the extremely short version. AHHHH my phone rings "Yes, Mary Ann?" WHO THE HELLLLL IS MARY ANN???!!! "No" I say ever so politely while I bang my head on the wall "My name is ANN MARIE". DO these fools have the right person? Who's chart are they looking at?? I was off to a CT scan now. UGGHHHHHH. SO after almost 3 hours of waiting, phone calls, and being ever so fucking polite the scan took 3 minutes! Good times here good times.
Results say my brain is still in there, phew I think my friends and family were starting to wonder. Nerve damage, who needs nerves?? I will have na MRI after the implants go in, something to look forward to. All of this proves one major thing...those forms we have to fill out all the time NEED to be filled out. Next stop, neurologist. I needed to add another friggin doc to my resume. What a stupid dumb breast cancer day??? Who is stopping over with the stupid dumb Patron?
Posted on October 3, 2012 .

Think Pink





http://www.syracusewomanmag.com/swm/

A little drop of pink does the attitude good! What a great way to kick of Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Thanks To Syracuse Woman's Maghttp://www.syracusewomanmag.com/swm/  for making their October pink!!!

Lots happening today LOTS.........

Here is your chance to be active, really active. The CNY Race for the Cure site is up and running. Sign up and join my crazy ass pink powered team. I will make this year the year that everyone is talking about "CURE OR BUST". Between the parties, fund raisers and Jello-O shots there is no stopping us. I am so sick (like literally cause I feel like crap today) of stupid dumb breast cancer. Who else is fed up?! Stop bitching and do something, I couldn't be making it any easier....
Race is up too, so go get em!!
http://centralnewyork.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/SYR_CentralNewYorkAffiliate?team_id=234025&pg=team&fr_id=2850

Posted on October 1, 2012 .

Scaredy Cat

Scaredy cat



When you find that lump your heart stops. I mean the real lump not "oh I think I have a lump" no that's just your boob dumb ass. I felt that lump and knew instantly all those other "lumps" weren't jack. Of course, the black discharge clued me in that something was for sure not normal. Anyone that knew of the lump diagnosed me, I never had so many "doctors" tell me what was wrong. Clogged duct was the top choice. UMMMM any ANY time you have black shit coming out of ANYWHERE in your body it is NOT good. Unless you are a newborn  that black meconium needs out but they are the only one. A million thoughts went through my mind during the weeks leading to the lumpectomy. Who is going to cook for my family was number one. But mainly.... Fear, sadness, thoughts of death, chemo, radiation all that enters your head in literally a split second and you feel it in the pit of your stomach. She thought she got it all and that was that.

Then pathology came back "positive" for cancer, positive is bad here but sometimes doctors say positive and its good, WTF make up your mind! The feeling was numbing, I was walking around but had no clue what I was doing. I went by myself because my doc really thought it was papilloma, she wasn't worried. I was however. Before she could even tell me I said "I have cancer".  She felt horrible I wa alone, I didn't even think like that. Plus, Nikki called me while I was in the car slamming the steering wheel, she was in shock. MC followed me after class and we pulled into Kohl's parking lot where as she read the path report (only she understood all that crazy talk) and she still didn't believe it.  My dad was watching Julian and I had to tell him, I am pretty sure he freaked when he left. I told him "Do not start crying. If I am not crying you can NOT", he actually listened to me!! Then I called Tom....it was surreal for us both. Called Rachel she was in shock, actually kept saying "are you sure?" LOL. My brother got on the phone with his oncologist friend and harassed him until he called me at 9:30pm on a Sunday. He then proceeded to come over every morning by 7am, I thought shit if I get really sick he will move in. Lori was well we all know there were water works!! Alissa thought I was lying, cause that is sooooo funny, idiot:). Jess sent me a text "you got this no biggie", which made me smile during the chaos of the day. Tracy immediately tried to find a way that apple cider vinegar could cure it. Rosie misunderstood until Megan told her. See the trickling affect stupid dumb breast cancer has and how it made all these people feel!!!

Meanwhile, I was mildly freaking and honestly scared not really for me because I researched these doctors and knew they would take care of me. But for them!! I mean I am the life of the party, the party planner, the party cook, the party thrower, the party fashion consultant and these are important to life. No really I was scared. I had just had my uterus fixed up and I was not really digging another surgery, but there was no other option. I have to say from here on in it was a blur. I remember the parties, the friends, getting extra work outs in, but I also have no memory of that time. I remember the night before surgery my Sammy boy sobbing how scared he was and knowing he needed us to be strong. He wanted me to say "I will be fine" but fuck it was major surgery I had no idea and I was not going to lie to him. Megan took good care of them in the morning and Al was there for support after soccer. Being able to Skype on my Ipad (cancer perk!!) helped us all. Ben even Facetimed me from a friend;s house that night, I am sure Patti did not expect to see me that night.

In the hospital I was still cracking jokes, offending hospital staff and barking orders. But I was so fucking nervous, the crazy thing is honestly I did not feel that then. I know I felt that because Tom and I just went through the pictures for the slide show and I saw how scared I was.The emotions came flooding back for the both of us. Through the pictures I not only saw my fear but my dad, G-Deb, my brother, friends and my husband which tonight made me cry. Right there in the pictures I can see the fear in my eyes. I was scared they were going to find more, that the nodes weren't clean, that they were going to eat something good while I was in surgery, that my doctors had been out the night before and didn't get enough sleep....that I wasn't going to wake up. I knew this was going through my head but you know all those people I mentioned well them and this whole other group that were bombing my phone were sending me all this strength, love, prayers (yes I think that energy is good), and healthy vibes. Their support helped me push out, not down, those fears and bring forth this crazy ass courage!! Stupid dumb breast cancer was not going to last here. The pictures right after the surgery I do not even remember, praise the drugs glorious drugs! Those pictures are my favorite because then I start to see relief.

I can not believe they MADE me take my shoes off!

I really hope you all come to the event at Pascale's "My Journey Through the Lumps", these pictures are truly incredible. The pictures are simply amazing I would love to show them all now but then you wouldn't come! They will make you laugh, cry, cringe, and  they are eye-opening. You will see a side to breast cancer that will make you understand why this journey is so hard on women. Why women have a hard time accepting this is going to happen to their body. These picture I hope will make you get a mammo or encourage a friend to get one. They I hope will empower you to be active and FIGHT stupid dumb breast cancer before or because it hits close to home.  I want women to be a little more comfortable while they are fighting, I want the to find the strength I did to survive and I want them to be proud of themselves because they kicked stupid dumb breast cancer's ass and still look amazing! The advance sale tickets will be on sale until October 15th or until we hit 500. I am still looking for sponsors, get you logo up on the support poster!! Do not piss me off look what I am doing to breast cancer cause it pissed me off. Plus I ain't no scaredy cat no more!!!!!!
Posted on September 28, 2012 .