Crazy ass loud Italian cancer free party

Sometimes I think my family just needs an excuse to party. What better one than me being cancer free!? My cousin hosted the day complete with pink well...everything. The food and wine flowed as did the water balloons and pranks. Some may find it humorous to play a joke on others but they tend to forget who they are dealing with. You know who you are! Being with all my family today meant so much to me. This has been a long, stressful, painful summer and I am ready to just be me. People keep telling me how strong I am well these people are what make me powerful. I am the woman I am today directly because of every person there. Some added wisdom and guidance, some strength, power and humor and sarcasm,  but all added love. We maybe crazy and loud and crazy again with some extra loud but when push comes to shove you better not mess with us because we are strong for each other to a fault. Thanks so much my crazy ass loud Italian family, this lumpy stupid dumb breast cancer summer did not stop our partying!

All Craziness

JUMP

Big Sister Lori

My Daddy and G-Deb

My brother Al

Sweet Halen Rose

TFO



The Hostess Heather

My girls and my boy

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer: Angelo Merendino

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer: Angelo Merendino: Angelo Merendino Check these amazing pictures out. I want to honor Jen this year at race for the cure!

Pissed but still awesome

My cousin called me today because her friend got the diagnosis of a life time, breast cancer! She asked if I would contact her, of course anything to help a sister out. BUT it pissed me off. It proved the 1 out of 8 woman fact, the every 2 minutes someone is diagnosed, the 100 lives are claimed every day to breast cancer, but we do not have to accept this. All of us can do something, I do not mean make a meal (which is helpful) or send flowers (which brighten a day) or buy shoes (which is AWESOME) but be active before that call is you or someone close. I have so many events planned you will have no excuse to not be active! What is it going to take to get you pissed off enough to join me? I am so pissed off that my boobs are gone and I have these foreign plastic bags in there, that I am still in pain, that I have these ugly scars. I am pissed my summer was so stressful, that I couldn't wear half my bathing suits, that I can not exercise the way I want. I am pissed off big time and that can only mean one thing. I am going to be a active in reducing those numbers. I am going to need all of you to support me on this. I will never be without breast cancer, I have scars forever and pills to take and more doctor appointments. So, in order to shove it back to stupid dumb breast cancer I have to take it down. I am pissed to that another beautiful sweet mother/woman/friend/daughter has to deal with this lumpy road. Be pissed with me and join me to eradicate breast cancer. I mean what else do you have to do??? Please pass my blog along to any survivor, fighter that you know to show that stupid dumb breast cancer will did not take this woman down, it pissed her off!

Check this out, my friend Shari's blog is #1 and Angelo is on there too. This is awerness!!!
http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-breast-cancer-blogs?fb_ref=.UBscGxPFh9k.like&fb_source=other_multiline

Angelo Merendino

Angelo Merendino

Check these amazing pictures out. I want to honor Jen this year at race for the cure!

Home again

Home, kids fighting, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping...ahhhhh LIFE!!! Back in the saddle and its bittersweet. I feel better for sure and will enjoy this week free of doctor appointments and getting kids ready for school (it is the most WONDERFUL time of the year!!). Tried to drive yesterday, bad idea, Sam was freaking and it was just to Target but very difficult, WTF I need to get out!! The trip was fun but I must admit limited. It sucked not being able to do what I wanted without pain. The constant Jell-O shots helped greatly as did my personal bartender Meg. I had some fluid build up and had to sling my arm, not fun but I stopped me from using that arm, good thing it matched it matched my suit (always fashion forward). I am so not looking forward to the fills, DD here I come, NOT! Nor am I looking forward to the implant surgery, I want to work out and I mean WORK OUT to were I puke. DO not give me the "almost there", "look how far you have come", "next year will be better" bullshit because I know this but I am living it NOW. I have to keep my head in the days that are now so I can get through them then over them. One thing I always said about Race for the Cure and why some team numbers go down is this, people think that after the process you are finished with "all that cancer shit". I knew this not to be true that is why I have always pushed people to still join. SOOOO, here is what you need to keep in mind. Women who have fought and won still have medication to take, scars to look at and an ever changed body. The stupid dumb breast cancer does not go away it is always reminding us. There are woman finding their lump right now and their long, lumpy process has just begun. And those woman who have lost the fucking battle, well their family is living with that pain right now. So, in honor and memory of these beautiful, courageous woman my fight is just gearing up! Please mark your calenders for all the upcoming events, fund raisers and the RACE as I blog them. This battle is not just mine, but I am willing to be the pusher, I enjoy it so much. This is the year of celebrating life, fighting for a cure and honoring my breast cancer angels!

Another day, another breath

All good things must come to an end

Well, I knew that the end was coming, it's just accepting it now. What an amazing week!? The weather was absolutely perfect. I did as much relaxing as I possibly could handle and even more eating than I wanted. Tomorrow we are off to the chip factory and the brewery (the kids are so excited!!), then back to the beach and dinner at our traditional restaurant. Honestly, I do not want to leave, more than usual. I've taken a break from breast cancer these past 10 days, well except when I didn't feel my bathing suit top feel down and the beach saw my frankenstein scars but who cares! The reality of the expanders getting filled and implants going in is sinking in. I'm still sore and in some pain but it's better and these appointments are just followed by more discomfort. I want to do a fucking push up!! So tomorrow I will say good bye to Cape Cod and be thankful that for the last few days it gave me a break from stupid dumb breast cancer.

Good times

We are enjoying the sunshine weather has been amazing, picking blueberries Tommy made a killer blueberry pie last night, drinking Cape Cod beer filled 4 growlers on friday and I think they have to go back, doing jello shots Patron and lime jello YUM, yelling at each other come on we are Italian it is like talking, Megan caught a big ass fish that Tommy cooked up to perfect, visiting with friends who are 16 and are almost 6 feet tall, had a pedi by Salon da sloppy MG, and eating a lot I may need an intervention when I get home! Looking forward to another fanfrakingtastic day on the beach. For all you grammar correcting fools that want to correct me, I know that was a run on sentence but it was just how I want it and I am currently recovering from kicking stupid dumb breast cancer's ass and I can have my way so bite it!

Cape Cod AHHHHHH

 

This is my favorite spot on earth. It just makes me smile like a real smile. We are here with our cousins, my dad, G-Deb, and our friends will be here tomorrow. The boys have caught crabs (no no do not go there), sea stars, some huge fish and other crawly things and that was just half a day on the beach. It is dinner time and like always too much food and booze. I will sit on my ass and tell them what to do, just like always. Of course, if another cup of ping pong balls fall on my head or kitchen sprayer soaks me or I sit on a farting cushion I am going to smack someone, HARD! Good days ahead, hitting Welfleet tomorrow, mmmmmmm OYSTERS!!!

Yesterday versus Today

Yesterday was plain awful but that's not now that's then!  Sorry a little musical Annie today, just be glad you aren't here to HEAR it, you know I love to sing like a cat in heat and dying. I was pissed, exhausted, annoyed, and weepy (yes weepy). I had myself a day of crying it out with some good girlfriends, 8 kids, a husband, and some long distant friends. I hate crying it makes me feel like a pansy, but my peeps made me feel strong. I am pissed that breast cancer has messed up my summer, changed and mutilated my body, has made me so effin tired, and has controlled me. I want to sit in the sun and watch my kids play. I want to make them dinner. I want to not look down and see my body so altered. I want to do more than go get cleaned up without being exhausted.  I want to say when I go on vacation. I WANT AN UMPALOMPA!!!! I sat yesterday and cried and had my hand held and my girlfriends say they were thankful I was finally letting it out, boy did I release it yesterday. I love that people want to help me through this but its hard unless you have been through it or have boobs. So, please bare  (chested only) with me and just stand by my side until the weepy bitch is gone and the regular bitch is back (I could have sung Elton John here but I do not want to go over board). But today..........

THE DRAINS AND OUT!!!!! HIPPEE KI AYYYY MO FO. I could not be happier, really thrilled. Cape Cod here we come, ohhhhh yeahhhhhhhhh

Time of Your Life

That was the song playing in the room while I had only 2 fucking drains pulled, I mean how apropos. I totally get the reasons why they only pulled 2 but it does not mean I have to be happy about it.  It felt weird and gross and made Genevieve a little sick I think (now that is a friend!!). The one side did not hurt but the left cause it is so tender, WOOZA! I go to my breast care doctor tomorrow and hopefully she pulls the other 2. If NOT then I guess I am that woman on the beach! I think I am taking embarrassing my kids to another level.  My friend's mom lives on the Cape and is a nurse so if worse comes to worse she can pull them because I am days away from them getting pulled and I really need to go. Am I nuts I ask you?? Well, couple of things here...YES I am, but she is a very experienced nurse and I trust her.  Not so sure Tom is thrilled about it. She is a hard ass so she won't pull them by me begging. YET, I go way back with this woman and I think she may find joy in it, like a lot of JOY!! So I guess my point in all this is I will know tomorrow if I will be drain free.

Another turning point a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable but in the end
It's right I hope you've had the time of your life

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while