Pissed off!!

I'm so pissed I'm not sure I can type. You know when you're so mad you want to scream LOUD! I have to run some tests this week for my thyroid; I am sure it's fine, but now there is always the "rule out cancer" fucking bullshit. I am also going to see a GYN oncologist because of all my cysts and tumors that I have had to have scraped out in the past, got to be on top of ovarian cancer, WTF! Close a door only to open one that leads to.....NOWHERE (and I do not mean Nowhere City for you Syracuse people). BUT this is what another breast cancer friend had on her blog and she is as pissed as me......
Are you fucking kidding me??? Now let me state, I am loud, a little offensive, sometimes crude, even abrasive but you have got to be kidding! This is not sarcasm, this is fucked up. Do you want the pain I've been through? How about the stress of worrying if everything was going to be ok? Or the scars... you must want the scars? Wait, no nipple-s that's a plus? Must be not having any feeling in your tattas? I have been mutated (hand crafted really) to a point I do not recognize my body, it's changed and so have I.  What about Jennifer or Aileen who left this world too short because of stupid dumb mother fucking breast cancer?  Or the woman going through hard chemo/radiation that is sick, tired, and still fighting? Nice, real nice! Do not even get me started on the two body images in the pic!  And in the words of my husband, "it must have been a man". Stupid dumb breast cancer, UGH.
Posted on August 27, 2012 by AnnMarie Giannino.

Surgical glue...will it ever come off?

"Surgical glues (also called surgical sealants or adhesives) are used after a surgery or traumatic injury to bind together external or internal tissue. Surgical glues can be used in conjunction with or as an alternative to sutures and staples; they use a chemical bond to hold tissue together for healing or serve as a barrier to stop the flow of bodily fluids. The five main types of surgical glues are fibrin sealants, cyanoacrylates, collagen-based compounds, glutaraldehyde glues and hydrogels..."

Read more: Types of Surgical Glue | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/list_6048066_types-surgical-glue.html#i


Seriously, after reading that I am starting to wonder if it will ever come off. Not only am I still flaking off, but it's itchy as all hell. Isn't it bad enough I have to deal with these big fucking bricks (ie expander's from hell) in my chest that are suffocating me, but I want to itch my scars like a wild woman. Too bad I can't feel my chest to scratch it because I have no feeling in my chest!! I would love to lay on my side but the pain is still there and it's uncomfortable beyond words. I can't wait to get my first fill this week that should add to my bitch. Do not even get me going on coughing and sneezing, OUCH! BUT...... I am alive! The pain and itch tells me that. So, as much as I want to just wallow in self pity, I won't because of the women who have lost their battle. Really for all those fighting any cancer because all CANCER SUCKS!! I just will not let it suck the life out of me. That would be disrespectful to Jennifer, Aileen and any other person who has lost their battle.

So I will take the itch and be glad its not head lice. I will take the pain and be happy I feel. The surgical glue well I will deal for now but I won't like it. Rome wasn't built in a day, I need something to go on about.

Starting to plan for the Photo show in October, so make sure you check back this week for the date and info!
Posted on August 26, 2012 by AnnMarie Giannino.

Filler up

Went today for my follow up check and everything looks good. Healing is coming along nicely, too bad it still looks like a patch work to me, but the doctor knows best. I have some air pockets,but  there isn't fluid build up any more! I decided to get the first fill next Friday, unleaded or desiel? I am nervous yet thrilled the process is coming along and the final results will be in. I may get one more fill before the healing of the scars and tissue begins. We scheduled the surgery for November 9, I have a very important holiday party on December 1st and NEED to get the right dress for! I hope to show the girls off in a fabbbbbbuuuuuulllloooouuusssss dress and my surgery heels!
So on a very important part of this visit, I got cleared to add some weights to my work out and kick it back into gear! This could not be better timing because my weight bitch is back today, that is MC FYI. Come Sunday morning I get to get back to class. Yipppppeeeeeeee!!!! Ok, so she did say 3 or 5 pounds only and bitch push ups only but still this makes me so happy like over the top excited. Not working out has directly affected my mood, you are just one work out away from a good mood, so I am like 500 behind. I just want my fucking body back, granted it is the updated remodeled version but it's my body.
Tomorrow is the great NYS Fair. And anyone who knows me- I mean anyone- knows that opening day is my favorite day. As a little girl my grandma and I would go have breakfast and wait until the buildings open. "If it's free, it's for me" was her favorite saying, my Sammy boy now says it the whole day. We went to the fair every single day, literally, even if it was just for dinner. We went when it opened and stayed until it closed. I worked there all through high school and loved every minute of it.  I am so happy I do not have to miss opening day. If you ever get lost anywhere at the fair just call me I know every short cut there is. So tomorrow if you are trying to get ahold of me, don't stress that I am not getting back to you right away, remember I will be looking at the cows, love them, checking out the chickens, why are they near the chicken dinner restaurants?, holding chicks in 4H with my boys, and eating....ahhhhh eating! Deep fried pickles, deep fried snickers, deep fried Oreos, deep fried Mac n cheese, corn on the cob, wine slushies, AND PIZZA FRITTE only at the Villa only!! Oh and the butter sculpture......oh wait and the sand sculpture.....so much to see and do, sooooooo excited!

Posted on August 22, 2012 by AnnMarie Giannino.

My sweet little cousin sending me love

My little cousin Halen made this for me! So so so sweet, we all start out that way.
I want to explain why this was posted. Halen is 9 years old and showing her support to me the best way she knows how. The bigger picture is this... She is going to be breast cancer aware for the rest of her life. She will remember to get herself checked and hopefully remind her friends. This is why I am so proud of this rock and shell creation!
Posted on August 20, 2012 by AnnMarie Giannino.

Crazy ass loud Italian cancer free party

Sometimes I think my family just needs an excuse to party. What better one than me being cancer free!? My cousin hosted the day complete with pink well...everything. The food and wine flowed as did the water balloons and pranks. Some may find it humorous to play a joke on others but they tend to forget who they are dealing with. You know who you are! Being with all my family today meant so much to me. This has been a long, stressful, painful summer and I am ready to just be me. People keep telling me how strong I am well these people are what make me powerful. I am the woman I am today directly because of every person there. Some added wisdom and guidance, some strength, power and humor and sarcasm,  but all added love. We maybe crazy and loud and crazy again with some extra loud but when push comes to shove you better not mess with us because we are strong for each other to a fault. Thanks so much my crazy ass loud Italian family, this lumpy stupid dumb breast cancer summer did not stop our partying!
All Craziness
JUMP
Big Sister Lori


My Daddy and G-Deb
My brother Al
Sweet Halen Rose

TFO



The Hostess Heather


My girls and my boy
Posted on August 19, 2012 by AnnMarie Giannino.

Pissed but still awesome




My cousin called me today because her friend got the diagnosis of a life time, breast cancer! She asked if I would contact her, of course anything to help a sister out. BUT it pissed me off. It proved the 1 out of 8 woman fact, the every 2 minutes someone is diagnosed, the 100 lives are claimed every day to breast cancer, but we do not have to accept this. All of us can do something, I do not mean make a meal (which is helpful) or send flowers (which brighten a day) or buy shoes (which is AWESOME) but be active before that call is you or someone close. I have so many events planned you will have no excuse to not be active! What is it going to take to get you pissed off enough to join me? I am so pissed off that my boobs are gone and I have these foreign plastic bags in there, that I am still in pain, that I have these ugly scars. I am pissed my summer was so stressful, that I couldn't wear half my bathing suits, that I can not exercise the way I want. I am pissed off big time and that can only mean one thing. I am going to be a active in reducing those numbers. I am going to need all of you to support me on this. I will never be without breast cancer, I have scars forever and pills to take and more doctor appointments. So, in order to shove it back to stupid dumb breast cancer I have to take it down. I am pissed to that another beautiful sweet mother/woman/friend/daughter has to deal with this lumpy road. Be pissed with me and join me to eradicate breast cancer. I mean what else do you have to do??? Please pass my blog along to any survivor, fighter that you know to show that stupid dumb breast cancer will did not take this woman down, it pissed her off!

Check this out, my friend Shari's blog is #1 and Angelo is on there too. This is awerness!!!
http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-breast-cancer-blogs?fb_ref=.UBscGxPFh9k.like&fb_source=other_multiline




Posted on August 15, 2012 by AnnMarie Giannino.