Cancermenopause, yes it is a word. It is my word and do not even try to tell me different! Here is the deal, most woman hit menopause in stages. They gradually come on and you learn how to deal with them. They sometimes give you hormones to balance that all out as well. Then you get stupid dumb breast cancer and things change in the menopause world! When they take ALL your hormone out and you cannot have any hormone because you have a hormone cancer, you my friend are in full blown cancermenopause! I remember being in the hospital and about 7 hours after surgery the nurse said “have you had a hot flash?” I thought, there is no fucking way after 7 hours that would happen. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! I was sitting watching “Bridesmaids” with my girlfriends, nice and medicated from the pain pills, eating some firecracker chocolate (how apropos) when holy hot sauce the wave of heat came over me. It is literally like you are burning from the inside!! You instantly want to rip all your clothes off and jump in a bath of ice, would not have been a pretty sight since this was 28 hours post op!! No shit this happened that fast. Did I tell you I cry during “Walking Dead”, who does that? It is zombies and killing but when a walker dies it is water works, I mean they were someone’s loved one, wah wah wah! One minute I am super happy cause the kids are sleeping the next homicidal cause Tom left the cupboard door open then I am sobbing cause Anthony hugged me. I know you are thinking that is normal for me but sister I am telling you I do NOT CRY!!! The rest of that is normal do not leave the god damn cupboard doors open. I feel like I am on an emotion roller coaster. I swear to god Menopause is the new puberty! Can we talk hair GROWTH!!?? Most of my cancer girls are wishing their hair would come back in, trust me Denise you are not hairy at all, Cecile if I could give you my status on this I would. They took the estrogen out now my testosterone is on over drive. I need a haircut every other friggin week, I am shaving at an alarming pace and do not even look at my arms! Crap, I am full blood Italian I do not need any more damn hair!! The night sweats followed the night after the surgery. You wake up drenched in sweat and not wanting anything to touch you, sorry Tom! I now am basically sleeping naked cause that seems to help, again sorry Tom to make you get all hot and bothered. Wait that is what I am but not at all in the sexual way, UGH!!!! See it isn’t just night sweats, hot flashes and mood swings it is all the other shit that goes with it. Now one would think with all that testosterone I would be well, wanting to have lots of sex. NOPE! UGHHHHH, sex drive is in grandma speed. I love my husband and all he does for me, especially here. This is the one time I agree with my family, god bless Tom! WTF, took my boobs, my girl parts, my energy, left with scars, and now people sex drive is added to the list. Does anyone have any Viagra??
The best thing that happened to me during this dumb battle was my cancer connection group. I have met the most amazing men and women. We have all formed a bond on various social media sites and consider our friendship more like a family. Most of these people I have never had any contact with except on these sites, I won’t meet more than half of them. Yet I cannot imagine my day without being in contact with them. Some rock Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer shirts even though they didn’t have breast cancer just to show support!
I met one lady named Heather Owens, Fighting Fancy we call her. She sent me a bag filled with things to lift a cancer patient’s spirits. Heather has a great thing going because I know so many that have received this bag just when they needed it, mine came the day before my hysterectomy and made me feel like I was not alone, like someone was actually thinking about me that I have never met. It made me feel stronger. Please check all the great things this inspiring young woman has done!
Then came an email from Jill in Massachusetts. “I have an idea” it said. Well you know me and ideas, I told her to call me a.s.a.p. She thought the bags were inspiring, too. We talked and talked and talked some more and came up with lots of ideas. In talking, we found our lives, stories, and values to be very similar and knew this was the making a beautiful relationship. After listening and talking it over with her with excitement she asked if I was in. I said “OH HELL YES I AM”.
We have joined forces to create “
BRAVERY BAGS
”.
We will be making bags filled with water bottles, pillows, a tee shirt, and little things to lift spirits of those fighting the battle in our own communities! To start off they will be delivered by Jill and I in our communites, but who knows where this will lead.
We have chosen to not just sit by and wait as women and men are still BATTLING breast cancer. Neither one of us is a scientist or has any desire to get into research. We want to help people in our own community, to show them that some random person not only gets it, but is thinking of them.
We are both having a fundraiser in April 11
th
to raise money for these bags and will continue to have other fundraising events at the same time. We are planning to take “My Journey Through the Lumps” to the Boston area in July. We’ll have community events where children help make the bags and paint rocks with words like COURAGE on them. We will to deliver these bags to our local cancer centers by June.
We are planning on taking donations, 501 is in effect. We are PLANNING so much!
I could not be happier to be working with Jill. She is fabulous! Here is her story…..
Jill rocking the shirts that will be in the "Bravery Bags"
My name is Jill Greblick and in June of 2012 I learned I carry the Breast Cancer gene (BRCA2)
which means I am at high risk (87%) for getting breast cancer and (30%) for getting ovarian cancer. Folks in my position have 3 choices....1.) do nothing, 2.) get s
creened every 6 months or 3) have prophylactic surgeries to get rid of "at risk" tissue. I am not a person to wait and see so I decided to move forward with the surgeries. As a preoperative screening I had a mammogram which showed "something". I had a biopsy and it was all clear. In July, I had a breast MRI which was all clear. On September 24 I had my ovaries removed and the pathology showed atypical cells so the surgeon was glad I had them out. On October 18, I had a bilateral mastectomy directly into reconstruction. Yes, I have implants. I went back to my breast surgeon on November 1 and she walked in the room as white as a ghost (holding my pathology report). The next words out of her mouth were, "Jill, you have cancer." Wow...we didn't expect that...My husband didn't even come with me to the appt. The rest of that appointment was a blur because unless you have heard those 4 words you can't imagine the feeling. Anyway, when you have cancer written in your chart you go to another place medically. Off to my oncologist (Dr. Morganstern) I go. Both he and Dr. Duggan agreed, that we needed to see if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes (BTW the cancer was a very aggressive form (HER2+).....the fact that in July the MRI was clear and in October I had an invasive form of cancer speaks for itself). On November 26, I head back to the Operating Room for a lymph dissection. 9 nodes were taken out and they were all clear. Dr. Morganstern states several times in our visits that I was very lucky I did the surgeries when I did because in a couple of months later and we could be in a very different place.
While I was going through my surgeries, I took comfort in some items my friends gave me. I loved the fuzzy socks, the pretty necklace, the functional water bottle that all my friends gave me. I also, loved a small pillow (that was made for me by my girlfriends mother) that I could place anywhere to give relief from body parts rubbing against each other. I was using it at 3:00 AM and thought everyone should have some items that bring them a bit of relief while they go through this, and Bravery Bags were born. After going through the hardest thing I have ever been through I realized that I didn't want to go back to my old life....I knew I wanted to give back to others coming after me. I read, Ann Marie's Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer Blog and realized she had the same feelings I did. I emailed and asked her if she wanted to become partners and Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer Bravery Bags were born! The SDBC Bravery Bags will contain items that will bring comfort: fuzzy socks, "chick flick" DVD, a blanket, note cards, a water bottle, a "small pillow" etc. No woman who receives our bags will ever feel alone....
My dad can dance, but when Darianne backed up into him I literally died!!! The crowd went nuts and I sat there so proud of my dad for going outside his element and letting lose. But you know why he did it, cause his princess was ALIVE. I am crying as I type this because my father is my everything. And seeing him laugh not for him but for me makes me speechless. That proved this night was about just living. There came a point where I thought we were going to have to restrain him. Andy said it best “Do you think he forgot they are men?” Still smiling! 
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