SDBC

Write a health acrostic for your condition, hashtag, or username! (acrostic = a poem where every letter of a word serves as the first letter of a word or phrase i.e. DOG = Digs Others’ Gardens)
Seriously WEGO??! LOL

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer

Sometimes
Terrifying things happen.
Understand that 
People are 
In your corner.
Don’t stop believing.
Dare yourself to be
Unstoppable.
Make
Bullets of your
Breasts.
Remember
Everyone has a different
Attitude and 
Shoes!
Times will be
Crazy but use
Anything to make you smile.
Notice how
Cancer doesn’t
Ever take away the 
Real YOU!
 This poem was written with the help of my 10 year old son who is working on poems at school and my 4th grade teacher husband (who loves this stuff)

I talk to my self cause there is no one to talk to

If you could go back in time and talk to yourself (or your loved one) on the day of diagnosis, what would you say? WEGO Day 12

Funny cause I talk to myself all the time, like even when I'm in the store and I think no ones listening I'm that lady. As I read this my house is quiet, 5:30 in the morning does that sometimes, I was already talking to myself. I had this odd picture of myself having coffee with myself, don't call the psych ward just yet.  The breast cancer self is sitting there stunned while the non cancer self won't shut the hell up. 

"Fuck, are kidding me? This sucks? But what are you going to do! You are not CANCER. you are a lot of things it cancer is not one of them. I do not not want the woe is me crap either so get that right out of you head! That's life, so don't start crying now. Well cry right now then get over it. You should know that cancer does not discriminate. It doesn't care that for the past 7 years you have worked hard to fight this beast. Oh they irony is too crazy. So here is what you will do. Get a mastectomy then whatever else they tell you you need in order to deal with this. You are going to fight like the crazy Italian you are and you will take no prisoners. Seriously get yourself under control and don't let this consume you. Your family is going to drive you crazy with love and your friends are going to want to help, let them don't be an idiot. you need these people don't push them away, you would want to help them. Yes,  your screwed from here on in you will be battling, but guess what you are just the average woman with breast cancer. Do something about it! Make something of this damned situation. No dumb ass you won't find a cure you have no ideas how to do that! But you know how to throw a party, so do that. I am not saying that cancer is a party but people love a party so throw one, for breast cancer. Ok look you will be fine, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will be, you're not dead yet so fight. I know you can beat this, you will be stronger because if this and hopefully less bitchy. Ya know I got shit to do, if you need to to talk, text me you know I'm here for you. Look truth is shit happens to good people you aren't that good but you ain't bad either. So straighten that tiara and go get em princess!"

Dontcha wish your doctor was hot like…

Write about your favorite health iPhone app? day 11
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=VsyE2rCW71o&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVsyE2rCW71o
Ok yes it's completely sexist, but lets just say everyone needs a healthy friendly reminder. Especially one that will grab your attention. If only they were the actual doctors doing the exam. No disrespect to any of mine, but come on!

Or Write about your favorite social network. Do you love Twitter? Facebook? Pinterest? Why? 
I have so many bloggers, tweeters, pincers I love I could never choose one. But I do have a more global one that is just great! You can connect with others with cancer in any easy format. http://www.ihadcancer.com/  I HAD CANCER is set up so you can search your cancer, age, and area. Making it very simple to connect with cancer warriors that best fit you. Questions are asked and answered plus they do guest blogs. I have connected with so many on this sup easy web page.
I hope every checks out both but let’s face it everyone of you ladies and some of you guys, are downloading that Man App!

Semi wordless Wednesday

Why is this picture my favorite? You know I love a list, let me count the ways.

1. It's hours after a long surgery and I'm up. A mastectomy is no joke but this was my easiest to bounce out of anesthesia.
2. It's me and my daddy. I waited to walk until he came back up. He has held my hand my whole life and this was priceless.
3. I'm in some beautiful shoes! My legs look pretty damn good, you gotta love a good stiletto.
4. We both have such smiles of relief on our faces.
5. The nurses were totally freaking out and wouldn't let me walk farther than the door.
6. My dad was holding on so tight he left a mark on my hand.
7. My hair still looks good after surgery, thanks Duke!
8. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, well 2 boobs but still clear nodes!!
9. I look so friggin tall cause my dad is so friggin short.
10. The best part....I have 4 drains hanging from my pjs!!

DeSkunking

BLAHAHAAH I got the power

WEGO Health Day 8 challenge…..If your health condition (or the health condition of a loved one!) was  an animal, what would it be? Is it a real animal or make believe? Seriously?? Animal? Well even though it is 6:30am and I am a mother of 4 I feel like I need to smoke a joint in order to complete this mission. I guess I will settle for an espresso. I was thinking a one-eyed, one horn, flying purple people eater because It eats people but I really love the color purple. Maybe a zombie? A leach would work too. Ugh this is hard, damn you WEGO! WAIT, great Scott I have got it (who the hell is Scott?)! I think that cancer would be a skunk, cause it stinks! One might think a skunk is soft and cute until it unleashes it stench. You have all those cancer cells inside you and on the outside you look fine but inside is stinking up the body! Hence the wonderful phrase “You don’t look sick”. It takes a lot of work to get that skunk smell out of whatever it attacked, have you ever tried getting that smell out of well anything?? You think the first round of the crazy concoction  worked then about an hour later the smell hits you and it is back to mixing a remedy. Much like cancer you think that you are getting that crap out of you then you get sprayed again. It takes energy, determination and treatments to get deskunked. I wonder if the home remedy would work on cancer? Now there is a study! It even calls for latex gloves, is anyone allergic to latex?

• 1 quart (or liter) of 3% Hydrogen Peroxide, H₂O₂.
  Use fresh (unopened) hydrogen peroxide (H₂O₂). Hydrogen peroxide eventually turns into water (H₂O).
• 1/4 cup (50 ml.) of Baking Soda
• 1 teaspoon (5 ml.) of Liquid Soap
• 1 pair of plastic or latex gloves

I know this Chinese herbalist in the mountains that has the answer no mastectomy needed

“Read all about it! Miracle cure-all discovered deep in the heart of the Amazon!”

WEGO health challenge Day 7, write the most ridiculous thing someone said about our health. This could be the longest blog post ever written! I have had the craziest thing ever said to me. From saying I don't have "real" cancer, to take 2 vitamins and you are cured, to your so excited. I have chosen the top 3, I was going to do the Top 10 like Letterman, but my kids are so pissed cause SU lost they are incredibly annoying Apparently that is worse than having cancer. 

Let me first state that there are comments made from people that just don't know what to say. I get that, people don't like being faced with the scary reality of life. Sometimes if you just think for a second before you speak things like "aren't you excited to get fake boobs?" Won't come out! Excited? Really, having a double mastectomy to get rid of breast cancer is not at all exciting or lavish. It was the direct opposite. My comment usually was " yeah having cancer is more exciting than going to Disney". 

"You are so lucky to have the easy cancer, it isn't really cancer"! Seriously you just said that? When a doctor uses the words "you have cancer" guess what, it's cancer. When your choices are a double mastectomy or a lumpectomy with radiation, guess what you have cancer! When you spend the next years going through surgeries, scans, blood work you have cancer. If only it was lucky everyone would want it. Yes there are different stages, types but cancer is well cancer.

But the best one ever was a call I got. I had an article written in the paper about me and they put my phone number in there. Sort of like having your number written in the bathroom stall of the biggest bar ever. Thanks for sharing Post Standard, Verizon loved having me go over in minutes.   I got a ton of crazy calls telling me all sorts of advice and cures. A man called and wanted me to come to his house, sure I will be right over. He has the cure for cancer and the government won't listen, oh I am a good listener. If you take these 2 pills you are cured, I have never been a pill popper but this could be the answer. He wanted to know when I wanted to come over, I said now but all my friends discouraged me. I don't kniw seems legit, right?!

The future is so bright I have to wear shades

Dear Ann Marie (that is so weird),

Hope this finds you smiling. I wonder if in 44 years you will remember writing this? At 85 I wonder if you remember anything. I bet you and Nikki threw Tom and Andy right in that senior center and took off. I am hoping the children are happy and living their life and making me/you proud. I can't figure out if this should be in the 1st person or 3rd. I just hope they crowned you Princess by now!

This is hard to write today since we lost so many warriors this week. I can't bare to think about who is still in this world and who are not. But yet my mind is racing. Was a cure found? Better yet did they find out a cause? I am hoping that more research was done for environmental factors and cancer. 

Did you remember to take it day by day? I hope that the stress of cancer did not take over your day. I want nothing more than to have you embrace your scars and see how strong they made you. Omg your tattoo, I can't wait to see how beautiful it came out. It will just enhance those scars and make them more badass I am sure.

What happened to Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer?? Did it become all you wanted? I hope it changed how people think about cancer. I just know that it helped empower others to be strong and keep their fists up. I wonder how much money was raised. Did the kids continue the organization? I bet they did, or maybe their spouses did! How many shirts were made? Where are people rocking them?

Did know that during all this you were/are amazing? Did you know how proud your mother is? Your grandmothers? Your warrior angels? You took this horrible, rotten, stupid dumb breast cancer and made it a fabulous, powerful, inspiring journey! Kudos to you old lady. I hope you remembered  writing this, shit I hope you remember where you put it.                  

Live, life, hope-

Ann Marie (41 and proud)

Ps. Do you still have purple hair?

Pss. How many tattoos did you end up with?

Psss. Does Tom close the cupboards yet?

Pssss. How are the implants?

Psssss. Is it like the Jetsons there now? I really hope so

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…..



The real ribbon

DAY 5……“If I could do anything as a Health Activist…” Think big today! Money/ time/ physical limitations are no longer an issue. What is your biggest goal that is now possible?

These are a few of my favorite things! Raindrops on roses, oh wait this is about health and I do not love whiskers on kitties! Yes, I want a cure of cancer but I can not do that these are all things I can and WILL do.
I decided to make a list, I do love lists…

1. CHANGE big change. I would love to see the face on any breast care pamphlet be a survivor, a real warrior with scars. I want that pretty pink ribbon to be changed into a powerful pink stiletto. I want people to see what is behind that ribbon so they can get a glimpse into what this is really like. I feel like through social media I am making a change here and I am proud to be the face behind that ribbon.
2. I want people to see that just cause the surgery, chemo and rads are over you are never the same. You are living life with scars, pain and emotional change. It is not just your body but your mind and feelings about everything!! This comes from sharing other survivor stories and showing the world how different life is after.
3. I want a shoe designer to contact me about delivering shoes to cancer patients. My stilettos took my mind off of everything and made everyone smile. I sent a pair to a young girl going through chemo, Chemo Heels she called them. They made her feel fabulous! Come on Jimmy, Tory, Manolo, Louie????
4. I want people to stop whispering about their cancer and be proud of how hard they are fighting. I am trying so hard to be proud of my warrior marks, I want others to embrace theirs more than I want to embrace mine. You know the old do as I say not as I do.
5. I want to give others HOPE, I am a survivor and you can beat this!
6. I want a place that cancer warriors can go to ask all those questions that they cannot ask their doctors. You know the TMI questions, if you are thinking it chances are others as well. There is so much to this journey that the doctors can not possibly understand or do not explain that survivors get.
7. I want people to see that cancer is cancer no matter what your type, stage, or treatment. If your choices are lumpectomy with rads or a mastectomy you have friggin cancer! Those are not fun choices, at all.
8. I want to be a real princess with a real tiara, you said think big!
9. I want my kids to see all these strong survivors and know that some day there will be a cure. And maybe just maybe they will research their little butts off to find one!
10. I want to have a place where warriors can get strong and fit for both their mind and body. I want them to be able to strength those muscles that are so compromised during surgery so they can have a better life after. A place they can talk about their life before, after, during cancer. WARRIOR WELLNESS was created for that. I leave there proud and strong with my BFF at my side.
11. I want to raise money, oh wait $23,000+ raised so far. I guess I am doing just that. My goal is make fund raising well FUN. People want to help I want to give them an outlet to do just that. Come on who else is having a Cancer’s a Drag fund raiser???
12. I want Bravery Bags to succeed. I can not wait to start to pass out these bags to warriors to show them that you can beat the beast. They need to see that they are not alone and what better way then with a bag of treats. I am hoping that we can get some companies to back us, you know any??
13. I want an oompa loompa and I want it NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!

Call me Verruca if you will she was always my favorite. This is all going to happen, I may not be a real princess YET but I am a badass, cancer fighting, social media guru, warrior strong, stupid dumb breast cancer woman on a major mission!!

Wordless Wednesday

WEGO health and bloggers will post something for the next 30 days. Day #3 is easy, a picture that symbolizes condition and experiences. This is the real pink ribbon, days after my mastectomy when I was unwrapped for the first time and the emotions that erupted from looking at my self.....fear, disgust, shock, yet life all rolled into one. Yet through the pain my girlfriends helped me laugh. Bride of Frankenstein and proud! 

Menopause is the new puberty, minus the sex drive….

Cancermenopause, yes it is a word. It is my word and do not even try to tell me different! Here is the deal, most woman hit menopause in stages. They gradually come on and you learn how to deal with them. They sometimes give you hormones to balance that all out as well. Then you get stupid dumb breast cancer and things change in the menopause world! When they take ALL your hormone out and you cannot have any hormone because you have a hormone cancer, you my friend are in full blown cancermenopause! I remember being in the hospital and about 7 hours after surgery the nurse said “have you had a hot flash?” I thought, there is no fucking way after 7 hours that would happen. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! I was sitting watching “Bridesmaids” with my girlfriends, nice and medicated from the pain pills, eating some firecracker chocolate (how apropos) when holy hot sauce the wave of heat came over me. It is literally like you are burning from the inside!! You instantly want to rip all your clothes off and jump in a bath of ice, would not have been a pretty sight since this was 28 hours post op!! No shit this happened that fast. Did I tell you I cry during “Walking Dead”, who does that? It is zombies and killing but when a walker dies it is water works, I mean they were someone’s loved one, wah wah wah! One minute I am super happy cause the kids are sleeping the next homicidal cause Tom left the cupboard door open then I am sobbing cause Anthony hugged me. I know you are thinking that is normal for me but sister I am telling you I do NOT CRY!!! The rest of that is normal do not leave the god damn cupboard doors open. I feel like I am on an emotion roller coaster. I swear to god Menopause is the new puberty! Can we talk hair GROWTH!!?? Most of my cancer girls are wishing their hair would come back in, trust me Denise you are not hairy at all, Cecile if I could give you my status on this I would. They took the estrogen out now my testosterone is on over drive. I need a haircut every other friggin week, I am shaving at an alarming pace and do not even look at my arms! Crap, I am full blood Italian I do not need any more damn hair!! The night sweats followed the night after the surgery. You wake up drenched in sweat and not wanting anything to touch you, sorry Tom! I now am basically sleeping naked cause that seems to help, again sorry Tom to make you get all hot and bothered. Wait that is what I am but not at all in the sexual way, UGH!!!! See it isn’t just night sweats, hot flashes and mood swings it is all the other shit that goes with it. Now one would think with all that testosterone I would be well, wanting to have lots of sex. NOPE! UGHHHHH, sex drive is in grandma speed. I love my husband and all he does for me, especially here. This is the one time I agree with my family, god bless Tom! WTF, took my boobs, my girl parts, my energy, left with scars, and now people sex drive is added to the list. Does anyone have any Viagra??